Post by realpowermind in Viatica comments

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Warning: Small Spoilers!

Okay, so I never leave comments on pieces of work. I always just like to read them and let others comment their mutual appreciation to the author. But after reading this and reading your bio, (I always like to click on the author's profile of any IFs I like to see if they have any other work or recommendations), I felt like I just had to write my admiration of what you've written so far, so I created an account on itch.io just for it!

Everything is amazing so far, dystopian/post-apocalyptic are one of my favorite genres so my interest was peaked immediately. Kudos to both you and your sister for the awesome story telling, this reminds me of Fahrenheit 451, but it's still unique in another way. I love the switching back and forth between the MC and the diary entries of the first settlers of The City; it's interesting to see the development of what first started out as a way to help guide people and rebuild society, only to turn into something so controlling, restrictive, and what seems to be far away from the initial intentions of the author of the diary entries.

The art is great, Isabela did an amazing job with that! I kept the story and this page on different tabs so that I can switch between to look at the characters again and imagine them better in my head as I continued reading. And the music fits perfectly with the story as well! I'm romancing Ferret and as I was imagining her scene in the rain, I couldn't help but notice the music you paired with it had fit so well. It felt like watching a dramatic scene from movie!

The only small critique I have is that I would like for there to be a place where I can click, save, and load my progress at different points of the story.

For the amount of effort you've clearly put into this, from the writing to the commissioned art to the pairing of music to different scenes, it's hard to believe that this if your first IF! I can't wait to see where you take this story and the interactions we'll get to have with the other characters. After finishing this story, if you ever decide to make any other IFs, you can guarantee I'll read those as well.

Astounding job so far, keep up with the good work!

Fir & Fireweed131 days ago (1 edit)

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your lovely and thoughtful words! I’m honored that my story was the first you commented on! This story has always had a special place in my heart and it’s honestly been a lot of fun rewriting as an IF, and it makes me so happy to hear others enjoying it! When I wrote this years ago I was definitely a big dystopian fan myself, and novels like Fahrenheit 451 and 1984 were a big influence on me, so I’m not surprised you caught those vibes.

And I definitely agree, it would be nice to have save files, but unfortunately Chapbook doesn’t support that feature. I went with Chapbook because it’s easiest to learn, but I also really like the way the display looks more like a novel, and I’m old school, lol. But I agree with you that it’s a bit of a bummer not to have that feature.

I’m glad you like the music and art, too! I feel so fortunate to have found Isabela, she really is talented!

Thank you again for the comment, you made my day! ❤️

realpowermind130 days ago (3 edits)

Thank you for the reply! And as I said, after reading this work, I couldn't not show my adoration for it, so I'm glad to have this work to be the first (and quite possibly only) one I commented on.

And that makes sense about Chapbook, I've never made IFs of any kind nor know anything about Twine, so I'm good to just be able to read this in the first place. I've seen other comments asking about the save system as well, but there's no pressure to try to create one. If I want to remake a choice, I'll happily just quickly replay. I've done that plenty of times with other IFs when the last save point I made was further back in the story than I thought. And I agree about the novel-like format of Chapbook, it seems to fit with the writing well!

Dystopia/post-apocalypse is definitely an amazing genre, I used to take a class entirely focused on dystopian writing. Fahrenheit 451 is a great book, I've read it multiple times, though I can only say I read about a third of 1984 because the interactions and thought processes of Winston and Julia were kind of... uncomfortable. Though I can understand fans of book because from what I remember, the world 1984 created was very interesting and I saw many parallel concepts to real life.

I'm also glad that this is the kind of story that you've already written before and are remaking into an IF, meaning it's more likely that you'll actually finish this. It's so hard to find good quality and completed IFs on itch.io... 😭

Oh, there was also another compliment I forgot to give in my last comment! I thought the animal naming was really creative, it makes sense that everyone would name themselves after something they've only read in books. I didn't even connect the dots that they were all named after animals until I got to that part of the story. 😅And I had never seen the limited option of what to name yourself before, most other IFs allow you to type your own name into it, so I was surprised about that!

Fir & Fireweed129 days ago

I completely agree about the unfinished IFs here. It makes me sad when I find an excellent story, then realize that the last update was years ago. 😭 After building this in Twine I do have a better understanding of the work and time it takes, especially if you’re doing branching paths. That being said, yes, this will definitely be a finished IF! Chapters 8 and 9 together will be the next update and I anticipate that in a couple of weeks.

Also I’m glad you liked the naming conventions! I was a little concerned about limiting your own name, because you’re right, most IFs you can choose your own. So I tried to give a breadth of interesting choices.

Thank you, again!