Amazing job to you both!! :D
i liked:
- charming cast of characters! fun banter and attention to sprites. very cute to notice blushing :)
- great to hear the changing scenes and have different music tracks. liked seeing all the scene art - so cool!
- smooth transitions, few display mishaps but no gamebreaking bugs
- LOOOOOVED the idea of an author in their own little made up world. literally. great idea
i disliked:
- overall weak + rushed narrative - very short focus on characters, didn't care much for the flirting since it was framed as uncomfortable, "escape" just felt very bad-
no!!!! let us see the conflict!!! that's why we're here!!! to read about it!!! please let us hear the characters figure it out!!!!!!
This felt like a game you definitely wanted more time on - I'd encourage you to work on it more! This definitely has some real potential to be a great polished work. I'm very impressed how solid this is as a first VN, REGARDLESS of any of my critique. Great job!