Wow! Cool droning, catchy beat and way too much going on in the second refrain! I mean, i love it, but idk, maybe... the sound becomes to discordant? It pulls my attention in too many directions at once. Make no mistake i love that shit, i simply feel like you took it a single step too far. Or, didn't go far enough, ending on some sort of discordant choir blasting your ears of would have been fun!
Honestly kinda wanna toss some money at you for that but, uh, i'm broke. So you will simply have to do with my well wishes for now!