I really loved the 3 characters art style! But you really draw them + wrote the story in one night???
An idea : When the 3 characters are on screen, it would be easier to remember their names from start if it was written below them when they speak and not always on the left. The dialogues may also look like a bit more dynamic? (But I've never used ren'py, don't know if it's easy to tweak or not)