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(+2)

I love this story to bits. If I recall correctly there was a rewrite or a change to the story when I started to read, so I sort of fell off and suddenly realized I should check and I teared up not going to lie. Broke my heart in the best way possible. I will defend Telio with my dying breath and I hope he doesn't just disappear from our lives. Also I really want to see Ash's perspective. I smell trauma and I love it.

If you aren't wanting concrit, then stop here and I will say I eagerly look forward to the next update and hope you have a marvelous time!

My only critiques are in the first chapter the talk with Tobias feels...odd? Not in terms of writing, but like variables or choices aren't lining up properly? I chose to be upset at everyone and sometimes it gave me whiplash on how MC would go from sad/angry to perfectly fine? Specifically around the "Go Back to Arthur" part. It was a bit of a disconnect. Like if you pick the "I don't know" option to forgive Tobias, it's logged as you forgiving him???  And then even if you choose not to forgive Tobias, if you pick what I view as the "I'm still upset, but I'm not taking it out on Arthur" option (telling him softly you don't want to discuss it as everything else is just rude, or technically a lie, but the game doesn't log it as a lie?), it is "you and Tobias share a smile", when you were still fuming before?  You have to be angry with Arthur too to get continuity. (I also chose to only be angry at Tobias in another game, but Tobias still says "Arthur and I are on the blacklist").

And the other one is that it's sometimes hard to follow who is talking, or new characters. My main example is in the latest update when we enter the camp. One moment Sloan is talking and then suddenly there's another person speaking and then later down we learn that person is a female dwarf, but it reads like Sloan was the one talking or Eleven. And other times when there's a new person speaking, but it's still a part of the same paragraph as the last. 

(Also is there a guide somewhere for what the emojis mean and I'm just daft and can't find it?)

(+2)

Hi there! 

Thanks for all the feedback. I'll try to make the adjustments as soon as chapter 2 is finished. 🥰