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I love this story to bits. If I recall correctly there was a rewrite or a change to the story when I started to read, so I sort of fell off and suddenly realized I should check and I teared up not going to lie. Broke my heart in the best way possible. I will defend Telio with my dying breath and I hope he doesn't just disappear from our lives. Also I really want to see Ash's perspective. I smell trauma and I love it.

If you aren't wanting concrit, then stop here and I will say I eagerly look forward to the next update and hope you have a marvelous time!

My only critiques are in the first chapter the talk with Tobias feels...odd? Not in terms of writing, but like variables or choices aren't lining up properly? I chose to be upset at everyone and sometimes it gave me whiplash on how MC would go from sad/angry to perfectly fine? Specifically around the "Go Back to Arthur" part. It was a bit of a disconnect. Like if you pick the "I don't know" option to forgive Tobias, it's logged as you forgiving him???  And then even if you choose not to forgive Tobias, if you pick what I view as the "I'm still upset, but I'm not taking it out on Arthur" option (telling him softly you don't want to discuss it as everything else is just rude, or technically a lie, but the game doesn't log it as a lie?), it is "you and Tobias share a smile", when you were still fuming before?  You have to be angry with Arthur too to get continuity. (I also chose to only be angry at Tobias in another game, but Tobias still says "Arthur and I are on the blacklist").

And the other one is that it's sometimes hard to follow who is talking, or new characters. My main example is in the latest update when we enter the camp. One moment Sloan is talking and then suddenly there's another person speaking and then later down we learn that person is a female dwarf, but it reads like Sloan was the one talking or Eleven. And other times when there's a new person speaking, but it's still a part of the same paragraph as the last. 

(Also is there a guide somewhere for what the emojis mean and I'm just daft and can't find it?)

For me, it kicked me out and asked how I'd like to open .txt files.

So bug:

I can get to the: You reach for the lamp, but even before the light hits his face, you know who he is. Scene (after the Kosta romance scene) but clicking the forward button if you will, sends you into a loop back to the "kids are missing Jess call" scene and I have to replay through it, only to get the loop again. 

Idk if it matters but the specifics for the Jess call are: Your usually gentle disposition is completely gone right now. You don't want to be mean, but this is a serious mistake.
"Where were you when they left, Jess?" you ask, between gritted teeth. 
"In the house, I swear. The door was locked, they were sleeping and I was watching something on my phone and I...I just dozed off...I don't know. I don't..."

You are quite welcome! Not only did you make me want to draw my character, but also made me want to try Twine again! Which is an accomplishment worthy of a medal ;)

Without knowing how to code or look at anything like that or send you the file, I haven't a clue. But yay!

Oh good so my brain didn't do its magic trick and make a passage move or disappear! Cause it likes to do that. I cannot wait for that talk to happen...

[a minor spoiler contained]

It's been quite awhile since I've had a demo for a game make me lose sleep because my brain just kept twisting it about trying to get...something out of it. Even longer since I had to try every single path I could to see which I liked more. (Oisein has been chosen). I particularly love the fact that in a world of supernatural races, we get to be a supernatural.  And question: we've seen Oisein's whole face before The Thing right? I'm not stupid and missing the fact that we've never seen one side of their face, right?

I saw your post on tumblr about committing to one format, and I really hope it helps because I want to see the end of this story. I've just one concern/bug: right now I cannot play the twine version here because the box that goes behind the text isn't there; I switched over to the other demo because...I needed to be a Fae and steal Oisein's heart. I saw another person had the same issue, so I'm hoping a fix was already in the works because even redownloading the game didn't fix it for me.

All this to say, I really hope this sees its end, I don't think my heart could take not knowing what is going on with Faceless McMurderson (the most polite of nicknames I have for them) Sorry for talking a lot. I just...Thank you for creating this world.

I just downloaded it and it's the same for me. 

Late to the party, but...

• Did you enjoy having a more intimate look at your Dragon Commander's past? Should I make more of this type of thing or nah?
  • Yes and yes :D. It not only fleshes out the world with customs and history, but now I'm very curious as to what happened at Academia and if that's going to be addressed or...cause I want to know more.
  • Bonus: liked how even the snarky MC was gentler than present day, making it very obvious just how that event changed them.
• What was your favorite and least favorite thing about this update?
  • Fave: learning more about the world/characters and all the variations; I never usually go for the domineering type, yet every new chapter here I am, going over everything with a fine tooth comb. You once again manage that fine line. 
  • Least fave...probably the burning desire to know what happened in the MC's past, how Mathias's decision affected them...basically you've inflicted "Curiosity" upon me (so no real dislike)
• Which character would like to learn more about?
  • I'm curious about the MC obviously, but as for side characters...Mand and probably Master Curio.

• Do you feel you're having enough space to create your own Dragon Commander? 
  • Yes, while I say I want to know and have a canon reason/past, that's more because I don't know enough about the world and the Commander's place in it to fully make those details for myself. Plus I don't think having a few pinpoints of canon past is necessarily a bad thing as it just helps to shape my own MC in a believable way. So long as my choices (given or accumulated) dictate how that past thing affected my MC, there's always enough wiggle room to create or flesh out.

Have to say, by the end I was like: what do you mean it's over? It can't be over...So I tried all the combinations I could think of and some of them are spicy *fans self*. I hope that particular path won't start straying into non-con cause it's tiptoeing a line and doing it well so far (I'm probably overly sensitive to that sort of matter). But overall, I want this to continue cause each route (even the "evil" one which I hardly ever like) is interesting.

• What's your favorite character?
  • I actually enjoy the Knight the most. I look forward to shaping them and getting to know more of 'our' past with Matthias. Plus I really like how you can be sarcastic as hell and have this fre-enemy relationship.
• Did you try the different options, or did you follow only one path?
  • I think I've tried most of them. Well that turned into romance scenes anyway...
• What do you think of the black and white aesthetic?
  • Don't mind it. Firmly in the neutral zone honestly. Writing matters more to me than aesthetic.
• Would you like to see more colored CGs, like the one at the end of chapter one?
  • Yes, cause it was pretty. And made it pop out more. Not saying the whole thing needs to be colored, but as a nice treat? yes.