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(+18)(-1)

a lot of people use pronouns as an extension of their identity, while some people care about it less; from my perspective, its mostly just about being able to present yourself in a way that makes you happy and comfortable :)

(+2)(-11)

You could argue that this is misguided though, since pronouns are really one of the least personal and most vague things you could use to describe someone. It seems odd for some people to use that of all things to try to express their whole identity. Unless I'm misunderstanding something ofc.

(+12)(-1)

You're not! The way you're seeing it is perfectly fine, some people care about it more than others and neither are really wrong- for example, i use it/its pronouns because that's just what makes me feel happiest but i don't mind if people call me by something else while done people would care a lot more.  My pronouns are more like an aspect of me vs a representation of my whole identity