OUCH. the first doc just giving us birth control and antidepressants... so relatable. it was never "hm lets look further and do some blood tests just incase" it was always "it says here you've got anxiety, are you sure you're not just working yourself up until you faint?" or "you should see a gynecologist first, before we look into why you're fainting." also "well you're a little chubby, lose some weight first and come back if its still an issue." okay sure, and if i faint and crack my head open and die before that happens? it already almost happened, my friend caught my head before i hit a sharp desk corner. that was my second time fainting in only 20 mins. i nearly fainted in the middle of a road and he helped me get to a curb before i passed out. i legit just laid on the grass and lost consciousness. then he mentioned my body moved a little bit like i had a minor seizure so he rolled me on my side. which is like... UM??? thats concerning i fainted twice in 20 mins and potentially seized and yet when i went to urgent care the next day they said i was completely fine and to go home since my blood work was okay. like ????
thats the first time anyone has cared enough to help me through a fainting spell, my parents didn't believe me until it happened in front of them and they didn't say shit to my doctors. i fainted the first time at 14, and it wasn't until i was 18 that someone looked after me. that same guy also ran back to campus for tissues for my massive nosebleed when we walked to a park by college. it was not a normal nosebleed either it GUSHED. the ground and my hoodie were covered it was so scary, my nosebleeds are so severe and rare. but like... the point is that i had all these concerning issues that could've been unrelated but also could've hinted at something REALLY serious. i was also starting to have issues with my vision decling, and a nosebleed on top of the fainting and occasional migraines as well as my SEVERE mental health issues had me wondering if something was wrong with my brain. nobody has ever checked it to this day.
my pediatrician had me see a gyno before testing my blood for anemia (which i don't have). i haven't bothered getting a diagnosis, i've had too many other more urgent issues to take care of and i've learned to perfectly accomodate my fainting issue. they've never listened past the initial blaming of me and my habits/age/gender/weight/ literally anything else but doing some damn tests. i'm 90% sure its POTS, i even brought it up to doctor number 3 i told about the fainting and he legit went "Oh! that makes sense, i'll refer you for a tilt test." that was all it took, but then i had appendicitis and other issues that were more urgent so i haven't asked for a new referall since i see a different doctor now and its just a mess. so this is already SO REAL AND OWWW
edit: OH MY GOD, THIS IS SO REAL. CRYING WHEN YOU FINALLY THINK YOU HAVE IT FIGURED OUT BUT YOU'RE WRONG, I DID THAT SHIT TOO
also i got what seems like the best possible ending first, just by doing the opposite of how i handled my own issues lol