Thanks, that's an awesome review!
And just to answer the very last point: while I would say my writing certainly has improved over the course of making the game, it's more just having room to breathe. Same with the Akatsuki introduction you mentioned previously actually; in the early content I felt a lot of pressure to make things move and get things established so as not to bore the reader, meaning the first three girls were more rushed than I would like. Especially Lucy; in hindsight I would have liked to take things much slower with her, and go deeper into the story with her mother.