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I appreciate that but I kind of did the opposite put my full weight on the gas to try and get the thing done and in 1.0 by Halloween (tomorrow) like I promised in the very devlog after this one. I've been in an absolutely feverish crunch mode and I think I've probably put in something like 70ish hours over the 5-6 days, actually finishing the game, playtesting it (and all the different endings), last second debugging, capturing vod, making gifs, still have to cut a new and also see if I can actually uploading a working build/depot/package to STEAM (which has been a huge problem for me). I'm in a pretty terrible place, medically, psychologically, and especially financially, but I've thrown myself into the work and not really allowed myself to think about any of my other woes or crises. This is probably the feverish crunch state talking but part of me feels like I'm not going to survive much longer and I want to get this thing done before I die, fulfill tha tpromise to myself. 

But even if every moment up until this devlog was wasted effort, I made the decision to waste more effort and harder to get this motherfucker SHIPPED. What's another 17 or 19 days of my life I've squandered on this very-possibly-marketless game after the three years I've been working on this incarnation and the 19 years I've been thinking about the project more broadly. Once the game is actually out of EA and in full release on STEAM and I have screamed my lungs out into the void about it, so by the end of All Saints Day, I'm going to let myself pause and take a very, very, very deep breath and generally do the stuff you said. I THINK about quitting all the time, but push comes to shove, when it comes to DOING I really have no quit in me.    

(I was a mildly successful entrepeneur/small business owner once, in an even more niche nerd market, Tabletop indie RPGs, but in most ways, like so much, that feels like it was in another life.)

It's okay to put your everything into a project, going 70ish hours over 6 days is necessary sometimes to get things done. But that being said, you need to have a goal that you reach that is within your control. Getting 1.0 done by Halloween might be in your control and you have probably already done it. Get it to a state where it is playable, you have a list of features that you want in the game, and there are no game breaking bugs that you run into through the full playthrough and then release it. If there are other bugs, they'll be fixed with patches, players will understand.


When you reach your goal, take a break and look at what you have done and be proud of it. Try to celebrate with friends and family and think about all the hard work you did and what it took to get where you are because no matter the success of it, it is successful to you because you did something that is hard and not many people in the world can do, so it's never wasted effort.

Also you should try to take care of yourself mentally and when you are ready, (in my opinion) look for another place to make money. It takes a long time for something that you create to fully prosper and start generating wealth, some people get lucky but most don't. Things take time, maybe this project isn't the financial success you want it to be but maybe the next one is or maybe something will happen once you release 1.0. You can make more games or this could be the stepping stone that launches a fruitful game development career at a company or you find someone to make a team with at a game jam or something.

Part of the reason I describe pre All Saints 2017 me as another life is because I lost all of my friends all at once and have sadly lost most of my family since then starting with the passing of my father two years ago. But the game is finally 100% content and feature complete, IT IS DONE, I suspect that polishing it and exterminating the last of the bugs will probably be a basically indefinite undertaking whether the game sells or doesn't sell.

But I love the game, and it is done. I have done a frankly incredible thing. It's a borderline miracle I'm still alive after the damage I've taken in my real life, let alone that I was able to create something this relentlessly and insanely ambitious. If it got noticed, I think it would challenge people's ideas of what can be done in the engine the same way Fear and Hunger, LISA, Space Funeral and To The Moon did (all made by contemporaries of mine).

Anyway if you're not broke, buy the game, if you're broke like me, I'll send you a key here on itch. I'm coming from 22 years as a hobbyist dev releasing shit for free (became quite famous/infamous in that context in the oughts, at least in a certain scene). I just want people to play the damn thing. I'll figure out how I'm going to pay the rent later. I appreciate the understanding and/or concern.

I'm really sorry for your loss. Putting your all into this project I hope brings some solace but you need some support systems in place. It might be good to reach out to someone or someone else in your family and get a therapist. I find it difficult finding a therapist too but it really does help.

I will definitely buy your game and give it a try. It generally isn't a type of game I would normally buy though haha. Would like to keep in touch though, if you have a discord or something, let me know!