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I will say the last few parts of your criticisms seem highly unnecessary - because the IF is currently free (and free games or books etc. will be quite unprofessional) also most IF authors I've seen who charge anything have a patreon (that the author doesn't have) which you opt into for bonus content 

The most I've seen an IF go for is 12$ (I think authors deserve more but that's besides the point) and that's on the high end 

Which is all to say whatever prices the author 'would' charge you'd get about what you'd pay for but the author isn't charging anything so it's not worth speculating on

I think speculating on what it "would" go for IS important - this says demo, after all, which implies a full, paid version. And I was only attempting to state what I would pay with that comment, not what it would be worth. Also, does IF stand for interactive fiction? I've never seen that acronym before.

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Yes! If you search IF games anything interactive fiction  will show up  

Also I would sorta be repeating myself but since Lunan said they've recently thought about selling the full game and writing with that goal in mind I'll leave that discussion and thought process for them (lord knows I'm never gonna make an IF myself lol)

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I'm with you on that. I like to give my input about what's "wrong", because everything else is so right, but I'm just some guy. And who am I to proclaim something objectively anything? I just believe player feedback is important. But at the end of the day, everything is up to Lunan. As long as this story concludes satisfactorily, I won't complain.