Okay, I'm not even out of the intro and already seeing issues. The father left the wife. During the convo he calls his now ex-wife "mom". That needs to be changed to "Julia". Shortly thereafter, the narration says "he left Eve." Which, again, should say he left Julia, not Eve, as Eve is introduced two lines later. Meanwhile, in her introduction, Evelyn aka Eve, calls Julia "Julie". The names are all over the place and I haven't even gotten to the main character's introduction yet.
Out of curiosity, are you writing this with AI generation? Because as someone who uses AI generators as a hobby, I see the generators often lose track of character names and descriptions like that, though not usually twice in the first couple of paragraphs. lol