If it looks like a duck
And quacks like a duck
It's actually NOT gay at all, but I made it gay cause it would be SO FUCKING FUNNNYYYYY:
Sebste (TEW2)
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This is literally just a running joke I have with my sister, its so funny LMAO
So, The Evil Within. Great game, well made, deserves wayyy more attention.
I love The Evil Within, but to really truly understand the extent of stupidity that comes with this ship, I need to explain the situation to you.
Sebastian Castellanos. Detective with such wonderful detective skills that he often points out really really obscure stuff you just never woulda gotten on your own (sarcasm). His daughter, Lily "died" in a fire just before the second game. His wife went missing as well.
STEM. An operation done by a company named Mobius that is essentially the Matrix with willing participants. In order to keep STEM stable, they need someone on the inside controlling it, someone egocentric enough to keep their own sense of self while supporting the entire digital STEM universe. The only people who can do such a job are either psychopaths or children. In the first game they tried using a psychopath as "The Core" but I'm sure you can imagine how well that went. So in this game they decide on a child. Lily Castellanos. Ohhhhh snap.
Mobius fakes her death and kidnaps her. Then however long after, they sorta just walk up to Sebastian as he's passed out in a bar like "HEY BESTIEEE we have your daughter. Come with us if you want her to live."
SO here's the sitch. Something has gone wrong in STEM. The Core went missing and they sent in a Mobius trained team to find her but they never reported back. So now they're sending Seb in since he has a personal connection to her so he may be more determined to find her.
Seb goes in to get Lily back, and finds out that some freak is messing up the place.
Stefano Valentini. Said freak. Fancies himself an artist, slayed, mansplain, manipulate, manwhore, served cunt, then died. He's also a psychopath but, yk.
Guess what. This ship is between the freak and the detective <3
Sebste:
Sebste is the slash ship between Sebastian Castellanos and Stefano Valentini. They don't technically have a proper ship name, but sebste is the most used one.
So. At the start of the game, Sebastian is trying to figure out what happened to his daughter. But on his way into STEM some weird shit happens and he ends up in front of this door that has a metal plate next to it with the words William Baker written on it. He goes in and finds a dead man. Except... the exact moment of his death is sort of... frozen. He stands there, stuck in the moment he died. Blood flowing from where he suffered a fatal wound to the head. You can still hear his faint scream. Who could do such a thing?
As you continue it becomes clear you're being watched. Paintings and pictures turn to pictures of eyes as you walk past. You are not alone.
You don't need to wait long to find out who it is that did this because a couple of rooms over... you meet him. You don't get to see his face, not clearly. But you do watch him kill a man and picture the moment with his camera freezing the man's death in time. This is the man who killed William Baker. This... is the man behind the slaughter. (I'm sorry, I couldn't help it)
So this is Stefano. Crazy guy going around killing people and freezing their deaths in time. Remember how I said he fancies himself an artist? This is his art. He has more pieces that you see and... listen, I'm not one to side with a psychopathic murderer in real life, but this is a game so... DAMN BRO I can low-key see the vision. That is genuinely such a cool gimmick for an antagonist, get it, girl, slay.
So anyway, Sebastian, being a sane person unlike me, is like "omg that's terrible" man everyone's a critic these days smh 🙄 but his criticism gets interrupted by trying to figure out how to get out of this one room because it seems like a dead end so you turn to leave through the door... but the door is gone. You turn again and the dead end is now a door. You're about to leave, but just as you open the door- A FLASH OF A CAMERA LIGHT. And now you're in another room. You look around and find a mirror. On the mirror... is a picture. A picture... of you. The picture taken of you just now.
Then you get attacked by this freaky monster thing that you run away from and as you're trying to run away Stefano gives you a lovely gift. He throws his knife at you, stabbing you in the chest and this is the knife you continue to use throughout the game. Thank you Stefano :) (he literally stabbed you)
So Seb gets out and he tells the Mobius fuckers "hey uh there's a weirdo down here doing weird shit" and then goes on about his merry way to find his daughter.
We later find out that uh Stefano actually kidnapped Lily. Uhm... so now Sebastian is actively chasing Stefano down to kill him and get Lily back. But STEFANO... Stefano knows all about Sebastian.
You see, Stefano is constantly just watching Sebastian throughout the game. From the start to the end of the eighth chapter. He even has this wonderful ability... to teleport. And ig to summon zombies.
So while Sebastian is trying to get to Stefano... Stefano gets to him first. As you're trying to leave this warehouse, literally RIGHT AFTER YOU FIND OUT STEFANO KIDNAPPED LILY, you see a message written on a wall. A message just for you. "Smile for me"
Uhm... Stefano what does this mean???? 🤨🏳️🌈??? Okay, I must clarify, I know this is a threat. It implies he's gonna take picture of Sebastian and as we've learned, picture bad. But... "Smile for me" I mean... idfk man hes just fruity like that.
Sebastian meets Stefano outside as Stefano is standing on a bus facing away from Seb. Stefano doesn't say anything as Seb demands to know where he took Lily, but he does start to turn to face Seb before teleporting away, once again, you don't really see his face. Then a giant eye starts floating in the sky looking right at Seb as these freaky monsters appear from out of the ground, summoned by Stefano, to attack him.
Stefano continues trying to hinder Seb's search for him by sending out monsters and just being a bit of a menace, but you don't ever really properly meet for a while.
In the 7th chapter you find out where Stefano is holed up so naturally you go to him in hopes of finding your daughter. Sebastian's daughter. You're the player- anyway-
You make it there but the gate is blocked by barbed wire. A dead body in front of the gate has a pictures tacked to it's head by a knife. A picture of a wall with writing that says "I'm waiting for you..." okay now this one is really... what????
"I'm waiting for you..." how much you wanna bet there was a heart drawn just out of frame LMFAOOOO okay, he's literally flirting at this point guys. What is this-
So Seb gets inside after fighting this freaky monster thing which I hate with a burning passion and turns on this thing called a Stable Field Emitter. This thing diminishes Stefano's power, but it takes a minute to boot up. Just before it can start, Stefano freezes time and waltzes into the room. You are frozen but aware.
As Stefano approaches you he says "you have been searching for me for so long, so I have come. But wait, it's not me you seek is it? No. It's the girl. I should be offended... but how can I be?" (gay) he then goes on to fake stab you in the eye, stopping just before he actually does any damage, but then he makes a nice neat little cut right next to your eye following Seb's bone structure. He says "fear radiates from you. It's beautiful... but not yet finished" and I swear you have to hear the line to get what I mean cause that line sounded so sexual. His exit line is "I am Stefano... and now you are my art." then he leaves.
Once you've turned on the Stable Field Emitter, Stefano holes himself up in the theater and Seb goes to find him. The gate however is, once again, locked by barbed wire. This time around, Seb has to go destroy these two "art pieces" that Stefano made, and by "art pieces" I mean dead bodies. Once they're destroyed he's finally granted access to the theater and Stefano says that Seb is "just like THEM" and that "they" want him to be someone he is not.
Seb opens the door into the stage and... there's people sat around on the theatre seats with bags over their heads. Just as one of them starts making noise, Stefano shows up on stage. He says that this has been entertaining but it must come to an end. He commends Seb for making it this far, saying that if perseverance were an art form, Seb would be a master. When Seb asks, Stefano says The Core is safe with him. He goes on to make his brand new art piece, right in front of Seb. All those people with bags on their heads actually has bombs on their heads. Their heads all explode simultaneously and Stefano freezes their deaths in time, leaving their heads "a bouquet of flesh and blood" as he put it. Now you see his full face. Previously his hair was covering one eye with it being revealed the other eye was damaged in his time as a war photographer. This is the first time you see the damage.
The cutscene ends with Stefano turning the theatre into a hallway where he walks away from Seb saying that he can't have Lily and she would be useless in his hands. Guys, the custody battle is starting! Can they fix their broken marriage or will they continue to fight on who Lily should stay with? Place your bets now!
As Seb tries to get to him, Stefano once again uses the "I'm waiting for you" line except he actually says it this time instead of writing it on a wall and taking a picture.
Seb gets to Stefano and says "no more running" so Stefano says "agreed... you're beginning to bore me." he then pulls out his camera and his fancy ass knife saying "your death will be art." before the final boss battle begins.
Stefano constantly knows where you are at all times, like I said, he's been watching you. He has eyes everywhere. So this boss fight is just relying on how fast you can shoot him before he teleports away and how fast you can dodge. You can't hide.
I would like to point out a couple of lines from this boss fight. "Bleed for me" and "I want to hear you scream" uhmmmm-
Coming on a bit strong there aren't we Stefano?
Naturally Seb manages to kill Stefano and just before he dies Stefano tries to take one last picture of Seb. Omg guys he wanted the last picture to be of Seb oh wow guys he's like totally in love with him trust, this is totally not even a joke, I'm 100% serious. (joking)
Okay uhm wait
The "Evidence":
I would like to remind everyone this is completely joke ship. They are probably not gay... for each other- I mean- okay- at least Stefano is a little bit fruity, okay- but not the point.
The point here is they were like totally flirting guys, 100%, trust, they were flirting.
Okay- fr. Remember how I said Stefano can see Sebastian at all times? Well then you ask "why didn't he just straight up kill him then" and that's a good question, allow me to elaborate.
One of the reasons is that Stefano simply doesn't view you as any threat, but the big one, the main reason Stefano doesn't just straight up kill you is because he finds you interesting.
Stefano has a fascination with Sebastian. Here comes this random man looking for The Core and defeating every monster Stefano sends after him and thinking himself able to defeat Stefano himself. He's an interesting man.
Stefano finds him entertaining. He says so himself.
I would also like to repeat the whole "smile for me" "I'm waiting for you" "bleed for me" "I want to hear you scream" stuff. That was totally flirting.
Anther point is one that this bitch ass nurse lady points out, Sebastian and Stefano are more alike than Sebastian would like to admit. They both have a trail of blood that leads back to them, for one. That's the only similarity the game actively points out to you but there are more if you're willing to look for them. I am not because it is 5 am and I will not start going into my mind cave to find the memory of every interaction and scene either of them ever had to point out each and every similarity. Figure it out yourself.
Now, none of this technically means Stefano is gay for Sebastian or vice versa, in fact, Stefano is literally a psychopath; psychopaths feel basically no empathy. They are physically unable to ever fall in love with someone. They can obsess over someone, but love and obsession are not the same. Stefano physically cannot ever fall in love with Sebastian, or anyone else for that matter. And Sebastian isn't exactly Stefano's biggest fan. He also has a wife. Remember her? Yeah, she still exists.
But guys, you have to see the vision. You have to see the vision!
Imagine asking how they met and Seb is just like "oh ya, he kidnapped my daughter and tried to kill me multiple times while I was also trying to kill him haha :)" IS THAT NOT FUNNY GUYS. IS IT NOT FUNNY.
Noooo bc every time Stefano is onscreen while I'm playing I'm always just fucking flirting with him while Sebastian shouts at him just like- ITS SO FUNNT
Omg it's terrible I love it. They're so toxic guys LMFAOOOOO
I'm going insane guys someone send help.
THE NUMBER OF SEBSTE JOKES YOU CAN MAKE WHILE PLAYING THIS GAME ARENT EVEN FUNNY LIKE THERE ARE SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO MAKE JOKES ABT THEM I should not be allowed within 100 feet of any copy of The Evil Within 2, the jokes I make are not PG, someone needs to stop me.
they gay lol
Turns out the entire game actually wasn't real at all and it was all just a really dramatized version of Stefano and Sebastian's gay divorce and their custody battle over Lily. Divorce leads kids to the worst places LMAO wiat I NEED to make that meme actually with Stefano, Sebastian, and Lily- I'll see, idk LMAOOO
these gay bitches are gonna kill me 😭😭😭😭
anyway, that's all the evidence I have for you guys today, in conclusion uhm they are totally gay for each other and you should take my word for it because I'm always right, of course, I mean, how could I ever be wrong. So... yeah. Gay.