ughh idk how i feel about forgiving Sam. like obvi i still want to be her friend but i don't like that we don't get to respond to her blaming US for not replying anymore as if she didn't stop first. like i do get that it was bad timing and now that i know that i'm not mad but i'm DEF mad that she just got so defense and was all "so?" to not replying. idk like UGHHh girl YOU started the miscommunication even accidentally, and i get it was hard for you but like... idk you can't blame us for taking the very tiny amount of responses we got as a rejection. its not like we got any info either, so idk what Sam expected us to think, how she expects to be trusted blindly without faith when it was her descison to hide her reasoning for leaving from us.
again, i WANT to forgive her, but its annoying that we don't get to tell her how hurt we were like she gets to. technically she's more at fault for the letters yet shes the only one who gets to talk about it. like obvi she should so we can clear up the misunderstanding but its frustrating that the only choices are to completely shut her down to the point where she'll coldy dismiss you after, or to immediately fully cave in. like NO why cant we just openly communicate and then try again as friends??? the most "blamey" we get to be in comparison is saying "as sudden and lonely as the last five years have been, the loss of your person was missed more than the letters." at the very start of the convo, and a bit of a bitter tone and snarkily timed questions.
idk if this is just because i focused on meeting the guys first (met her originally and saw the slight progression at the ball but i redid it to meet Langley lol) so if it is because of that i don't mind. i also chose to understand but still be hurt by Sam. and its not hate BTW its just so frustratingingly realistic lol
also, FML i didn't realize this was unfinished i gotta stop breaking my heart like that