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I cannot thank you enough for your kind words!!! I love all of the feedback you've given me and I am taking it to heart. I've already written 60k words so it may be a little hard to get some of the things, but the rest of the feedback and criticisms I can do! I will work on these and try to get an update for the first chapter ASAP. Thank you again for taking the time to dive into this. I was really nervous about posting the first chapter, but you going so in-depth tells me I must have done a pretty good job and motivates me to keep going.  

Absolutely! Yeah like it's not realistic to go back through like half a novel and make a bunch of changes, most of my points were intended to be more like just things to consider as you keep developing your writing. Also at the end of the day it's your story and your voice so take and leave whatever works for you :)

Posting for the first time is always stressful (hell, I even get nervous posting comments sometimes) but I think you should definitely stick with it and keep having fun with it.