apologies it took me sooo long to respond to this. i am so soo honored to hear your in depth thoughts and shared them with my friends and other devs because i was just so happy to reach someone so so deeply. i don't get a lot of Long thoughts on my work, so this really is special to me.. it is printed out and glued in my journal!
ultimately i have had people grow tired of me in the past and as a result, some friendships have ended, but i realized that those relationships weren't made to last anyways because i am mentally ill and its just inevitable that not everyone can handle being around me. i always thought it was my fault or i was a terrible person, but now i'm connecting with others again and i know that connection is possible even for people like me.
nowadays i have lots of friends and a partner who can/may/do grow tired of me but they still love me! so its important for me to depict that people who may be exhausting (like me) due to our struggles are still loved! even if we've been hurt or left behind in the past! even if some people can't handle us! there's still people who can and will stick with us because they cherish us! even if i'm in agony and the love from them doesn't feel like "enough" at the moment, i still love being with them despite it all! apologies if this is scrambled!