I know you said that, I am sorry if my English is not good enough, I am not a native speaker.
My question is: Why do you think the only way to enable this feature is "implementing a whole bunch of features and overhauling the framework, so the features offered are clicking together and have a robust concept and ecosystem around them", instead of one of the solutions suggested by @leafo? Or even adding an Oauth authentication.
Currently, usernames could be acquired by brute-force, or one could also scrape the website searching for public usernames.
Please, help me to understand technically why this is a "security nightmare"?