- I understand how it might feel unnatural. I have made several mistakes here. For one, as I described in a reply below, having the MC be without much character to them, to avoid assigning personality traits to the reader they do not feel at home in.
We met Sam for the first time on the bus station and had with him about 3 or 4 four sentences from each side.
And then we decided to go on a walk with the strange mysterious fox for 3-4 hours.
IN ALMOST ABSOLUTE SILENCE
We haven't even learned his name to this moment.
- Yeah I know. It's 'cute' but not realistic, and probably grating on the reader. I was thinking the reader might fill in the blanks and was also playing with the scenario that the MC is in shock, or not completely lucid.
Music:
It's good!
Especially the last track, cause it plays in the right mood and time.
The only thing I would advise is to choose tracks more accurate for moments.
Music in the house got me overwhelmed with all this noise in several minutes...
- That's fair, I know Harpsichord isn't for everyone. I'm practising a "less is more" approach with the music for some of the newer tracks I've been making. It's tough, but this is a VN, the music should support the narrative, not steal the focus. I get it. We'll see if I succeed. The track in the house in Chapter 1 is meant for a different place (in Chapter 3).
GUI:
Sorry, but it's just bad.
It's almost base GUI but with ultra-small fonts and strange scale.
- Yeah, I'm working on it. It should have been fixed before the first release, especially the tiny text and tiny menu buttons.
Artwork?:
I'll be short and clear.
I do not appreciate this kind of stuff in any games.
It looks creepy and glitchy and has an uncanny valley effect so I dislike it, this surely will not work out for mass audience.
The only moment that I enjoyed of it's the transition of the house from autumn to winter, it was kinda cool!
That's the most of that I wanted to tell, English isn't my native so sorry for any possible misunderstood.
- That's fair. You should have seen all the stuff I've thrown away. There will be more morphing things, and things will get stranger. There will be some weirdness. I am practically playing on it for some things. At this stage, it's impossible to make it 'perfect'.
I don't think any of the things I make will ever appeal to a mass audience. I appreciate you taking the time to check it out and give me all this valuable feedback.
Wish you luck with the project!
Thank you!