Patreon was reviewing the page for "sexual content" (basically, they don't like explicit stuff on public pages). They told me to rewrite it (without specifying what's wrong, of course) and now they are taking their sweet time to evaluate if my changes are good enough.
In the meantime, you can check this google doc for the changes.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BSFE8PFVDxFhcMVwgND7yG7A0o21iC7lmIs3e1V7S8U/...
I might make this the default, to avoid similar issues in the future, but I'll wait a little longer to see if I can go back to using the old page first.