No, *you* can't beat those guards because you're... bad. If you got all, or even half of the equipment by actually playing the game and not just running through it, you'd find it easy. Also, there are three shopkeepers that sell greater healing potions, play the game.
As for the auntie part, once again, the point of this game is getting away from her. Notice how most of the femdom screens are game over screens. I'm aware that you wanted to see more of that, but this isn't the game for that. You can't complain about minecraft because there aren't any thermonuclear bombs, it's just not the game for that.