This game might be a joke. Like, I strongly feel like it's made as a joke.
There is no tutorial. No controls, no how to play, we do have a patreon button though, that's mandatory.
You jump with space. But, you have to *charge* your jump. You can only choose the direction of your jump while it's charging. You can't change it mid-air.
Why? Because, uh, it's too hard to implement? Not really, I'm pretty sure it's because it's just another way to make the game more difficult for no good reason.
Now, it’s a platformer. And you might just go, “but, you're just trash at platformers!” and you know what? That could have been a good excuse. I am not, though. I have 100% completion on Super Meat Boy, and 50% on The End is Nigh (dropped it for now). I am not saying I’m the best player ever, but I’m certainly not new to the genre.
This game’s mechanics suck. I spent a good while trying to jump to an above platform, and couldn’t do it because I always bounced off. It’s only by pure luck that I aimed the wrong way, and hit the platform next to me while jumping, bounced off of it, and then bounced on top of the platform I was trying to get to. How are you supposed to figure that out?
Also, it seems like the levels are made in such a way, that there is almost always a little gap in every stage, where if you fall, you will fall to the very bottom, and will have to start over. Uhh, is this a rage game? No.. it’s a H-game, and it’s main feature should be that it has porn in it, or hentai, or whatever. Erotic animations.
However, those seem to be only if you reach the end of the tower. The gallery button in the main menu does not work, you have to complete the game, which, as we talked about, is not a fun experience. And “not fun” is exactly what games should NOT be.
After around 10 minutes, and not getting used to the rather hostile controls, I gave up trying to complete the game. This isn’t a “little H-game”, this is just an annoying platformer. It is most fitting not with the other H-games, but with stuff like Cat Mario and Unfair Adventure.
The H-Animations? You can’t even see them unless you complete the entire game. Fuck that shit, I have better things to do.
Ratings =-=-=-=-
Yeah, I will try to describe the scores now
Graphics - 13/35 | It’s low-res pixel art. The game looks dull and bland, not much is decorated.
Gameplay - 1/35 | I talked about it above. Unfair, frustrating, and most definitely not fit for a game you’re supposed to jerk off to.
Animations - 2/35 | I can’t even look at them (even if I paid for the game). The 2 points are basically out of pity, based on the screenshots.
Bonus Points - 1 | I like the soundtrack. I don’t know if it’s custom or not.
Final - 6/35
Same score as “wanna peek? Milky and honey”, another game so bad, I reviewed it, and the devs took the review down. I think I still have it somewhere as a draft though?
Conclusion =-=-=-=-
Tower Dragon is supposed to be a H-game, but it acts more like a rage game. It’s not fun in the traditional sense (or any sense, really) and not enjoyable at all. There is no storyline, no nothing. Just a badly made platformer. And it’s actually kind of a bummer for me, because I saw the game and really wanted to play it, because the animations do look good in the screenshots. Worth the price? No. Stars: 1, converted from /35. I'm posting this here because I can't actually post it as a review, for some reason. Also, I hate this pixel font.