itch.io

It's alright. It's another one of the "quirky indie platformer for incels uwu" type game, pretty easily recognizable by the glow overlay and chromatic distortion used.

The mechanics are good at first. You dash quick, movement is good. But, when you get hit, you get stunned for half a second for some reason? Useless feature.

The boss sucks. He has a random attack pattern, is way too quick, and if he hits you, he stuns you, so he hits you at least twice everytime he catches you. He also seems to be hitting you even when you're dashing above him. He has way too much HP for dealing 10 damage, and he does too much damage to you. It's not really balanced. When you're attacking, you have to wait for the animation to finish to do another action (like dashing), so before you can dash he will hit you.

Also, why is recharging dashes so slow? What's up with that? Especially considering how often they're used.

The environments look good, but the levels themselves have a weird design. On the beach stage, I had to wait some 3 millenia to jump on a surfboard, just to wait another 3 millenia to get off it.

I activated a CG scene in some hot dog place I think. Holy shit, I should have not. You can't skip the dialogue. The cringy ass dialogue. I'm pretty sure I permanently damaged my shift key trying to go through the dialogue as quick as I can, because no one reads that shit. Then, of course, the game bugged, and activated ANOTHER dialogue sequence, but I was not even near the NPC, and was dashing as I was pressing shift. Then after the dialogue, I could not move. Excellent.

Graphics: 22/35
Gameplay: 17/35
Animations: 14/35

Final: 18/35

It's pretty mid, nothing we haven't seen before really

This game might be a joke. Like, I strongly feel like it's made as a joke.

There is no tutorial. No controls, no how to play, we do have a patreon button though, that's mandatory.

You jump with space. But, you have to *charge* your jump. You can only choose the direction of your jump while it's charging. You can't  change it mid-air.

Why? Because, uh, it's too hard to implement? Not really, I'm pretty sure it's because it's just another way to make the game more difficult for no good reason.

Now, it’s a platformer. And you might just go, “but, you're just trash at platformers!” and you know what? That could have been a good excuse. I am not, though. I have 100% completion on Super Meat Boy, and 50% on The End is Nigh (dropped it for now). I am not saying I’m the best player ever, but I’m certainly not new to the genre.

This game’s mechanics suck. I spent a good while trying to jump to an above platform, and couldn’t do it because I always bounced off. It’s only by pure luck that I aimed the wrong way, and hit the platform next to me while jumping, bounced off of it, and then bounced on top of the platform I was trying to get to. How are you supposed to figure that out?

Also, it seems like the levels are made in such a way, that there is almost always a little gap in every stage, where if you fall, you will fall to the very bottom, and will have to start over. Uhh, is this a rage game? No.. it’s a H-game, and it’s main feature should be that it has porn in it, or hentai, or whatever. Erotic animations.

However, those seem to be only if you reach the end of the tower. The gallery button in the main menu does not work, you have to complete the game, which, as we talked about, is not a fun experience. And “not fun” is exactly what games should NOT be.

After around 10 minutes, and not getting used to the rather hostile controls, I gave up trying to complete the game. This isn’t a “little H-game”, this is just an annoying platformer. It is most fitting not with the other H-games, but with stuff like Cat Mario and Unfair Adventure.

The H-Animations? You can’t even see them unless you complete the entire game. Fuck that shit, I have better things to do.

Ratings =-=-=-=-
Yeah, I will try to describe the scores now

Graphics - 13/35 | It’s low-res pixel art. The game looks dull and bland, not much is decorated.

Gameplay - 1/35 | I talked about it above. Unfair, frustrating, and most definitely not fit for a game you’re supposed to jerk off to.

Animations - 2/35 | I can’t even look at them (even if I paid for the game). The 2 points are basically out of pity, based on the screenshots.

Bonus Points - 1 | I like the soundtrack. I don’t know if it’s custom or not. 

Final - 6/35
Same score as “wanna peek? Milky and honey”, another game so bad, I reviewed it, and the devs took the review down. I think I still have it somewhere as a draft though?

Conclusion =-=-=-=-

Tower Dragon is supposed to be a H-game, but it acts more like a rage game. It’s not fun in the traditional sense (or any sense, really) and not enjoyable at all. There is no storyline, no nothing. Just a badly made platformer. And it’s actually kind of a bummer for me, because I saw the game and really wanted to play it, because the animations do look good in the screenshots. Worth the price? No. Stars: 1, converted from /35. I'm posting this here because I can't actually post it as a review, for some reason. Also, I hate this pixel font.

It's quite a random game, to be honest. You kind of have to figure out what to do by yourself, since it's not really possible to explain everything with a 16x16 grid. The fighting system is horrendous, and extremely finnicky. The dungeons themselves are RNG, which is expected., I wonder why there isn't a way to increase max lives. I mean, the fucking duck takes way too long to kill. Because of that, I just exit and go back until I go the location desired, which is also a tedious process.

The spawnpoint after the minigame with that futa girl is useless. It takes me 15 seconds to just get to the map, for no real reason.

I'm currently at a stage where the girl who's chizeling or whatever asks me to get 3 blue... things? I can not tell what they are, and I have no idea how to get them.

Currently stuck, and yeah, this game does a horrible job with explaining things. Maybe "only using symbols cause quirk" is more of a gimmick than a cool feature.

Animations are alright, low res, but good quality. You should be able to just exit them whenever though. The CG's in the dungeons are not high res enough, and they leave a lot to the imagination, and not in the best way. They also take too long to play out.

Gameplay - 2/5
Graphics - 4/5
Animations - 3/5

Game is in shambles. How do you get said key for the door? Ive gone everywhere but couldnt find it.

I picked up the pistol, then accidentally reloaded a FULL magazine. It took away the ammo, and the reserve mag. There isnt even a counter to show how much ammo you have left. The game probably just sets it to 0 then adds 6 or something, which isnt really how reloading (or ammo at all) works.

I got killed by a slime (I think), because I couldnt uncrouch.  The mechanic is broken. When you crouch, you cant stand up.  What the hell?

There seems to be a useless delay (animation) when crouching. Its like 1 second long, which doesnt sound like a lot, but boy do you feel it. I guess thats why the crouching is broken. The game seems to be stuck in that middle transition frame between crouching and standing and just goes back to crouching.

There is an about button in the menu, but it doesnt work. I mean, sure, it isnt that important, but why is it even there? Is it that hard to code some text to show up when you press a button? I dont know. You know which button does work though? The patreon one. I guess it was a priority. Id suggest actually fixing the game, before asking for money. I mean, this game is barely playable, do you think I want to pay 5 dollars for some useless cosmetic?

PS: I forgot to add, the stamina drains real fast. Too fast. Either make actions use less stamina, or remove the mechanic. Its cumbersome, not "fun" in a sense

Rating: 7 bugs out of 10 cyberpunks 2077s,

Im getting tired of this patreon bullshit.

Let me get this clear: There is a Seduction meter in the game. It fills up as you play. When if fills up, there is literally a button to view the unlocked animation. There is a gallery option to view the anims in the menu. The dealers literally show up in the gallery when you fill their seduction meter. Hell, you can go and buy clothes for the dealers. But it's only when you actually try to SEE the animations themselves, that the game just shows you a picture saying "nuh uh! you didnt give us money! anims are only for supporters!"

Thats crazy. No, thats WILD. I mean, Isnt that the whole point of the game? The animations? Why would you make all these options available only for when you actually want to view an animation, just tell them they have to pay? Oh yeah, cause of greed. I forgot. Cause devs can allow themselves to do it without anyone questioning it cause people here are goddamn sheep. Thats just how it is, downvote if you'd like.

Thats not even the best part.

See, as special as this game tries to make these animations look, if you just look at the file sizes, youll see that both and paid version are 220MB. Huh, weird. Shouldn't the free version have a smaller size cause of the missing animations? Well, no. They're there. In the game. The only things blocking you from accessing them are merely a couple lines of code, and a jpeg trying to convince you that this game is worth anything. In the game files themselves, the animations are all there. All the frames, all the dealers, all states, even the audio. Its just that there is some code that blocks those animations playing.

Now, Im not fancy programmer, so unfortunately, I cant tell you how to fix this. However, if someone manages to extract those assets (only jpgs really!), then its just putting the images together with the audio. Or if someone erases that cockblock code or something. Either way, its only a matter of time before somebody records the animations and releases them to the public, and that gives me comfort. Anyway, I wrote and deleted many paragraphs for this "review", I have 1000 more things to say, but I wont bore you, or myself. I gave you the keys to animations, you figure the rest.

Quite a simple game. All you do is go around, put presents in houses, and interact with the girls. There are issues, though (as with every H game, lol). When I first played, I actually just went to the edge of the map and died. Then I realised that you have to actually press DOWN to enter the chimneys, the game doesn't really tell you that. The jumping is kind of janky. Sometimes my characeter can slide down a roof with me being able to do nothing about it. The controls menu is alright, but a little cluttered. There's no need to have 4 keys to do the exact same thing. DOWN key is for interaction. Arrow keys are not shown, though they work just fine.

These aren't any big issues really, but they are there, just to point out. The promise of 10 unique H animations is kiiiind of misleading, if you look at it a certain way. There are 5 animations, each animation having 2 girls. So, its not really 1x10, more like 2x5.

There isn't much else to say. The animations are smooth, there is voice acting (although only 1 sound file), and there's even CUM anims.

Final rating: 5 eggnogs. Worth 3$? Not really, just find some gallery video. This game has practically no gameplay.

I got a score of 12. The game doesnt really make it clear what each card does, how placements work, or how to gain coins in the first place. The way you place islands is also quire weird. The only thing this game has going for it is a cool gameplay concept, however executed poorly.

Gameplay 10/35
Graphics 14/35
Soundtrack 10/35
Bonus points - 1 for custom cursor

Its pretty solid. Thats it. There really isnt much to say, its a solid game.There seems to be a circle in the main menu, and I'm assuming thats a special badge kind of thing, but I dont know how to get it.It's a fun game. I like maze games anyway, so this was fun for me. The mazes are almost too easy though, like, the final one was just up, down, up, down.I like the character. I dont know her name or what she is, she seems to be some kind of underwater shark furry catgirl policewoman (maybe mermaid?) kind of thing. I like her and the fact that she doesnt have an overexaggerated (almost cringy) personality.I like the graphics, theyre nice, pixel perfect, and simple. The UI is also clean, though that doesnt say much.Its a good game, I wish there were more levels and content.

I don't know if it's just me, but when you get to the second stage, nowhere in the game have I seen text telling you that you have to fall off the ground. I spent like 15 minutes climbing up and down, trying to sneak to the magician to the left, only to figure out by chance that you have to fall off the ground by pressing S + shift (if I remember correctly). Other than that, the controls are unintuitive, the game tells you how to attack before telling you how to move, the enemies one shot you, the whole level design is unbalanced. Glad I didn't pay for this, couldn't even get past Stage 2

There is a version 0.6.6, but I doubt it will be released here, I believe its only for patreon. Kinda bummed to see the game going this way, but hey, good thing about the internet is that everything is free if you look hard enough ;)

Honest review: Its so mid, feels too random for enjoyment
Story: 1/5

Gameplay: 2/5

Animations: 1/5

Honest review: H Scenes have no way of escaping, the foreground and background could be seperated better, and the collision isnt great, along with the feedback.
Story: x
Gameplay: 1/5
Animations: 2/5

Game keeps crashing

Hello everyone. Whenever I try to go to the first night, the game gets stuck on the loading screen and becomes unresponsive, then eventually crashes. I've tried toggling every setting, but nothing worked. Any help on how to fix this?