Skip to main content

Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
TagsGame Engines
(+1)

I appreciate how you slowly built the setting in the first few paragraphs & really painted the scene. I think it started a little slowly, but it works well with the sharp pivot at the mother's death - the run-on sentence in that scene makes that pivot in the action stand out even more sharply. The closing seems a little rushed; perhaps allocating a little more space there might help flesh out the character arc more strongly.