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Kind of reminiscent of Elfquest: classic elves, dealing with problems in a straightforward nature-driven way. Nicely done!
Thanks for taking the time to read it!
I enjoyed it.
It’s perhaps a little too impersonal at the beginning, but it well sets up the Chekhov’s gun at the end.
Cultural stuff always fascinates me.
My favorite part is easily “Her spirit had gone to the wind and her body to the soil.”
I appreciate how you slowly built the setting in the first few paragraphs & really painted the scene. I think it started a little slowly, but it works well with the sharp pivot at the mother's death - the run-on sentence in that scene makes that pivot in the action stand out even more sharply. The closing seems a little rushed; perhaps allocating a little more space there might help flesh out the character arc more strongly.
great story. Your tone was done very well. Keeping the wood elf vibe throughout and contrasting it with the orc.
This was a great read! There were a few grammar/punctuation spots, but nothing that detracted from the story. I wish dialogue had been used more to convey some of the earlier moments personally. Overall, though, an enjoyable short story!
even though you had to strain yourself, I do think you still did a pretty good job at connecting the climax with tidbits from the rest of the story.
Thank you for the comment! I recognize I fell a bit short of my goal ultimately, but I still really appreciate that folks such as yourself would even bother to take the time and read it.
There’s a lot going on in this story for as short as it has to be for the competition, and that doesn’t help what should be an impactful event. This isn’t to say the story is bad- the opposite actually. I like the idea of mom and dad training their child to live in the world, and the bonds that would arise from such a life. Unfortunately there isn’t enough page space to develop that relationship to give the hammer blow it needs. That being said, I really appreciate the story for what it does, how it flows, and how you allow the protagonist to fail, and rise again stronger and more determined than before. Good job.
Thank you so much for taking time to read this story. I agree entirely with all your points. This was really my first ever experience with creative writing, and the one page constraint really humbled many of my initial ideas put to page. I’m really glad I was able to participate in this event and really look forward to future events to see if I can hone in a bit better.
The only way we grow is through mindful repetition. Creative writing is a tough thing sometimes, even for those with “training” in it. Your brain has to be in it most times, and jump starting that process can be hit or miss. If this was your first attempt at such a thing, it didn’t come across that way. Keep at it. Before long you’ll have grand tales spun that will carry weight and deliver the hammer blows where needed.