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I had a lot of fun with this! I thought that you used language well to establish and maintain a consistent tone; I can’t think of anything that dispelled the story’s illusion offhand. The pacing worked well for me because it seemed like I could tell the difference between scene-setting passages and gameplay (for lack of a better term) passages without the seams being overly obvious. I don’t think that it would take nearly as long as two hours to read this without distraction or hunting for every single thing hidden in the parser.

Regarding the sex scene: it didn’t feel like an abrupt departure from the rest of the story, which I would consider a positive mark. I personally would have liked kinkier options - a whole tailor’s shop presents no opportunities for the lovers to tie each other up? I can’t intentionally kneel or crawl or beg? - but that has nothing to do with the quality of the writing. It was still very sexy!

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I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I do feel similarly about the sex scene ending up kind of vanilla, considering the possibilities implied by the whole setup. I did have a whole pile of ideas but kind of dug a hole for myself with the format of taking individual actions (rather than a branching choice to pick a general "approach" for a whole pre-written scene variant, like in a lot of text-based adult games).

One consideration was a kind of purposeful predictability, like avoiding bringing in twists or attitudes or props that might have fit into a longer seamless scene with the characters "acting on their own", but might not be what the player had in mind for their specific and concrete command. I ended up thinking of it as the player character having his own fairly vanilla preferences.

To have a chance of finishing this thing, the number of actions also needed a limit, and the actions needed clear boundaries so they wouldn't pressure following actions into accounting for some kind of special physical state or big shift in character dynamics, multiplying the amount of writing needed. Not that it all flows super smoothly or logically even now if the player takes actions in an order that wasn't really accounted for, but that's why I stuck to the rather literal applications of body parts to body parts and the overall vibe of enthusiastic co-operation. 

That said, I might still add a bit more variation in the 1.0 release, if I can come up with something that fits into the framework without too much disruption of what's already written. I could probably leave more of the "transitional" details to be bridged by the imagination, but that'll have to be an exercise for future projects.

Thanks for the thoughtful feedback! (and sorry for the wordy reply, it was just something on my mind already)

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Thank you for the thoughtful response! Branching and content is always going to be the hardest aspect of solo development and I’m impressed with the amount and quality of content already present. A different approach to sex scenes could always go in the next one, after all.