I don't want to be mean, but it's awful.
The story didn't make sense to me. I got a controller that could cheat death itself. Cool, I guess. Then out of nowhere there was a note? Say what? Okay then it tells you to ... let your hair down? Um... I don't see a connection, but okay. Then the game tells you to ... shake a can? Then there was nothing on the screen. I don't mean to degrade your skills or anything, but I was genuinely confused while playing your game.
That doesn't mean that there is nothing good about your game. The UI was clean and well-polished. You also established suspense at the beginning of the game, but unfortunately all that went out the window as the game went on.
I think you were going for a horror visual novel game. I am not much of a writer myself, but I here are some writing tips you could bring home:
- Plan a full, cohesive story, before you do anything. You have to lay out all the events before you, so you know exactly how the story should flow.
- Try using some imagery, or other literary devices. These things really make your writing much more vibrant.
- Build suspense throughout the game. There are many ways you could pull this off. One way I know is that you could try and put the main character in a bad situation, and then it just gets worse and worse.
As for the images, you could've made the images a little darker on photoshop to bring out that creepy vibe.
Don't be disheartened, be proud that you made something in just three days!
P.S: The music really brought out that suspense.
P.S.S: You were supposed to only use WASD and arrow keys only. But whatevs.