I'm assuming Russian is your native language and English a secondary one? I played the English version and it had that feel to it. Some of the wording was awkward, and there was some unintentional humor, but generally it was clear and easy to read so it wasn't an issue.
I liked the story and setting a lot. It was a bit rough around the edges but when taken as a whole works well. It has a definite Russian feel to it, with maybe some Hunger Games influence and some anime influences but less than I expected. It was very different than most of the games I've played in this jam, a little darker than I'd expected as well but it was engaging and interesting. I liked the character designs and the backgrounds fit surprisingly well.
I really wish there was more gameplay, though. As far as I can tell, this is entirely linear- you just click through all the dialogues and there isn't even any branching. I actually spent most of it anticipating gameplay sections- first thinking we were going to get some after the introduction, then at the soccer match, and then after they became magical girls. Was this down to time constraints or was it planned from the beginning as more of a story with limited interaction?
The ending felt extremely rushed; I'm assuming you just ran out of time? Most of the game was well-paced, though, and it was surprisingly long for a jam game. It does feel like a first chapter in a series, and I would be interested in seeing where it goes next.
Finally, the last song in the game has got to be the most blursed thing I've heard in a long time.