Hi! I'm in love with the story, it's beautiful and creative. That opening scene has to be the most gorgeous intro I've ever seen. The entire demo itself clearly demonstrates high attention to detail. I like all the little animations and the character's have... character. Haha. Even the MC, and usually I worry about novels that have a "build your MC's personality" kind of direction. I know some people prefer that, but I think it can be tricky to pull off and for me to personally enjoy it, but I think you've done well so far.
As far as feedback, I think the only thing that really stood out to me was the changing of the soundtracks. It felt rather abrupt. I feel as though there are some intances where an abrupt change works, but most times I would reccommend fading the music out at least a few sentences before the next track begins.
Great work! I can tell you devs put your all into this. Good luck, and I look forward to the extended demo as well as the full version! :)