DEMO REVIEW [may contain SPOILER of the demo game]
Apologies. I promised to you that I'll play the game but I kinda forgot about it since I am currently making a game too. However, I have the time now, and as promised, will leave you a feedback for it.
Before anything else: I don't usually play visual novel games (I prefer playing
stealth/adventure games) so I might not give you a quality feedback of the game as I don't play the genre of the game very often. But don't let this discourage you though. You just have to find someone who plays much novel games.
I will go straight to the things that I think needs attention. These are the things that I suggest, will need changes/fixes. I wouldn't call them 'cons' since the game's still in demo (and game demos are actually for reviewing the core game mechanics and stuff so :))
1. Change of Fonts:
Changing the fonts (the game font in general) might give off a more of the intended
'aesthetic' vibe to the game. Font Squirrel and Google Fonts are good resources to look for good fonts.
2. More Character Depth:
I find it kinda hard to explain it, but I'll do it with the one of the antagonist of the game named 'Dark' (assuming she/he is a antagonist, this is a demo after all, not the full game). With all the dialogues I've read from him during Dark's encounters with May, I didn't really find Dark intimidating. There was something missing about Dark as an antagonist (this is the part that I'll say that it may depend on personal preferences). Yes, with the art, I find Dark mysterious, but let's say I needed more 'substance'... but this might not be given to me
as of now just because the game is still in demo and there is more to discover to this
character. 3. Change of Dialogue Box: This is more of a preference, but I think it's good to change the dialogue box. If it's possible to change it per 'scene' (ex. if you're talking to some antagonist), do so :) it
might be do good (not sure if possible with Renpy. Its been so long since I've used it but I think with the updates, you can).
4. More Variety of Music
As an indie game developer, I do know it's hard to get or even make music, but it would be
nice to add more variety of background music. But the current music that is in the game is
decent, I must say ;)
Apart from all that, there are things that I find good/impressive in a way.
1. Game Art
I'm not personally good at art (not my forte), but I find your game art very good. The
characters, background colors were crisp. I like how I can distinctly tell from the
characters who's who.
2. Characters
I find the characters presented well. The people that stood out for me (so far, apart from the main character) were Noah, Dylan and Zed.
3. Story
At first, upon playing the game, I thought it would be the typical teen love story (from reading the description, but that might be part of the story I guess) but I was surprised when *spoiler* the protagonist gets kidnapped with all other people like her. It is also fast-paced, which I like. I would not criticize the story much as this is a demo :)
I wish you luck for further development of the game. It might be hard and oftentimes, you'll find yourself in the verge of giving up but remember to rest, breath and have fun!