Thanks so much for the edits and critique. I've made a bunch of updates now that should help with some of the flow issues. I've also corrected several of the typos. I've had a bit of a week though so I'll probably go through again once I have some fresh eyes and a clear head. This is definitely making me more aware of how repetitive my speech patterns are, I'll have to be more aware of that going forward.
The dialogue on the left of the inventory screen is purely there for beta testing. It won't be there in the final build, so for now it's safe to ignore. I'm also fairly sure I've fixed the text positioning bug, so that should be good in the next build. (That said, text overlap will still get a little weird depending on the character's name)
I don't currently have any other way to handle submissions unfortunately. Google is just the cleanest way for me to keep things organized, accessible and make sure anyone submitting knows exactly what they're getting into. I can look into setting up an alternative but my preference would be to stick with the google doc submissions. I have considered a Discord server to allow submissions, critiques and edits all in one place. I'm very hesitant about it though because I don't want to have to moderate the place. If I do create another place for submissions I'll be sure to post an announcement about it.
Thanks again for all the help and I'm looking forward to the next edit!
A few things have come up, so the next edit will be at a later date. I apologize for that, but it's outside my control. I've started to slowly work my way through the remaining prologue, but it's taking longer than expected. Purely grammatical edits are fast enough, but for style/rephrasing I need to dedicate more contemplation than I'm currently able to. I'm holding out to the next weekend/Friday.
I'm also grateful that you take critique and advice. You have an distinctive style that bears polishing - after some conscious practice it will be very interesting. Definitely double-check any and all my suggestions in case of doubt and/or rewrite my edits as you see fit.
On a parting note, I would like to say that to the best of my knowledge, Discord servers are incredibly prone to degenerating into a clique-like mess on the best of days. With NSFW added, it might collapse even sooner. So, my advice is to not, but if you do, vet your mods religiously.
TL;DR: life busy, edits later, discord is true to its name.