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(1 edit) (+2)

I've only played through one route so far (Lyell's).

The art and story are cute,
but you desperately need an editor. 
There are just so many misspellings, grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that would be much better with minimal tweaking.  
They made an otherwise nice story difficult to read. 

There are plenty of people who will stop reading something if there are too many errors like this.  (I know, because I tend to be one of them.)  So I genuinely think that you would be giving more people the opportunity to enjoy your stories if you found someone to do even minor editing work on the game.  (Fixing the uses of 'their' when it should be 'they're', for example)

I'd like to reiterate that I enjoyed the story itself, so I hope I'm not coming off as critical just for the sake of putting down those who put hard work into the game.

I had a much longer thing written out but I'm just gonna say this. I know there are typos and grammer mistakes.  people have been telling me this since I first uploaded it.  I'm gonna say it here for other commenters to see. that telling me where the errors are is more helpful then just telling me there are errors, since if you tell me where they are I can go fix them. I have an editor and they are able to work when they have free time .

(1 edit)

Is there a certain format that you want the typo/grammar errors to be pinpointed? 

Example: 

Common Route>Pg.(?)>

Jaylene: "Are you sure this isn't a joke haha...?"

Xanthe goes up to me flashing her teeth.

Fix: Xanthe came up to me, flashing her teeth.

Pages are not numbered, so it's difficult for us to point out exactly where they'd be for you to fix in the program; so you don't have to go through bouts of text, I mean.

I have a ridiculous amount of free time if you want me to just fix it for you. 

Email: acceyla@gmail.com

exmaple:

xanthe goes up to me flashing her teeth

(Then put fix here)

that works just fine cause the program I'm using to program has a find and replace feature so I can just copy and past the "xanthe goes up to me flashing her teeth" into search and it shows me where it is .  but thank you in advance for taking your time to help, it means alot.

and do you want to just put the fixes in the comments or want me to email you so you can send them to me?

(1 edit)

Email works for me. :) Just send me a message.