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(5 edits) (+1)

I understand, I don't expect everyone to love every event. But it's something she wants to do as well, and of course she isn't in danger during this event. I believe the reader should understand what the world they're changing, why they're changing it, and have motivation to change that world. Changing the world isn't all flowers and sunshine after all.

They're meant to be antagonists, and they're meant to evoke an emotional response out of you, otherwise they wouldn't be good characters.

(+2)

Honestly my emotional response in that event was because of my lack of ability to protect Lin but i get what You mean and belive me i think it is not written badly or anything. I just wish for a way to avoid not being able to protect her.


Still, this is Your game, I am in no way trying to impose on that. You do Your thing.