Wow this was a ton of fun to play through!! I really liked how you played with narration, and the music you picked did great things for the tone. I really got the Homestuck influence without it hitting me over the head, which I really appreciate!
In the future, especially for your thesis, I'd focus on strengthening your character's individual voices. You have a really great, strong narrative voice, but I started to get a little lost in the dialogue. I would really recommend this blog post by Robert Yang that helped me a lot in strengthening my own writing .
I really really loved the beginning of this piece, especially the turnabout when you went from the intense intro straight into a jaunty tune and a silly murder mystery finale. I was hoping to see more of those surprising tone shifts, but it definitely works as it is now! Overall excellent work, and I'm super excited to see what you make in the future!! Great job!!