hi sarah!
You have a really strong sense of place here and a really consistent, dark tone throughout. The characters also have distinct voices, though Alice feels more generic (not necessarily a bad thing, very common in choice adventures). One of the things I was expecting more of was expressive choice that either varied significantly or had impacts on conversations at hand — right now, the different options don't feel particularly distinct from each other. This doesn't hold back your game too much, because the core experience centers around reading your prose, not around pursuing a distinct playstyle. But to make the choices more engaging, I would suggest introducing more variety, even when the choices are primarily expressive.
-jess