Hey Max!
The format you chose for the text and choices was captivating- it really felt like I was literally unravelling the story every time I chose an option, and also subtly conveyed a sense foreboding that was well suited to the gothic horror narrative. Don’t be afraid to lean into this a bit more stylistically— for example, adding in some pauses of different lengths and fade ins/fade outs in different story beats would really heighten the drama in an exciting way.
There were a few moments when the setting changed that I felt a little lost- like I would forget when we were in Chicago vs. New York. I think some fade ins/fade outs or some other small visual cues would help convey these shifts.
I’m personally obsessed with The Gay Gothic, and I think your story was a fantastic take on queering Frankenstein. That one scene where Victor was talking with Beth and said “There’s something I have to tell you…” At first, I thought he was going to come out to her and then he ended up confessing about makin’ a dead guy! Really loved this game and the parallels you drew.
-Jude