The format you chose for the text and choices was captivating- it really felt like I was literally unravelling the story every time I chose an option, and also subtly conveyed a sense foreboding that was well suited to the gothic horror narrative. Don’t be afraid to lean into this a bit more stylistically— for example, adding in some pauses of different lengths and fade ins/fade outs in different story beats would really heighten the drama in an exciting way.
There were a few moments when the setting changed that I felt a little lost- like I would forget when we were in Chicago vs. New York. I think some fade ins/fade outs or some other small visual cues would help convey these shifts.
I’m personally obsessed with The Gay Gothic, and I think your story was a fantastic take on queering Frankenstein. That one scene where Victor was talking with Beth and said “There’s something I have to tell you…” At first, I thought he was going to come out to her and then he ended up confessing about makin’ a dead guy! Really loved this game and the parallels you drew.
This was a wonderful exploration of engaging expressive choices. The prose was especially well-written in that it had a strong and consistent tone, and each element of the story continued to be relevant after its introduction. I would say that this is a story that is primarily about relationships, and delivers a meaningful commentary on queer relationships (and one's own relationship to queerness). However, many of the characters ended up seeming quite thin, with few traits that distinguish them from others. If you were to give this another pass, I'd recommend rewriting dialogue so that the character voices are more unique and less homogenous. This will make the ending with Henry much more impactful. That said, you accomplished a lot with this assignment and delivered a compelling retelling of a familiar story.
This was such an amazing story. Great job Max! I was elated to watch Victor's story unfold. I really appreciated how a lot of the choices I made were reflective of how Victor sees himself and his relationships with other characters; it felt as if I was shaping him in my own image based on the choices made. Seeing Victor's relationship with Henry develop gave me life, and I was glad I able to reach a happy-ish ending. I think I'll have to revisit it soon and see how different choices affect the narrative!
This is so deep. It somehow look back at my life as well. I was impressed with the length and the various choices it led me to progress through the story. I don't know much about the original Frankenstein story but the whole story was engaging, shocking and so sad at the same time which kept the story compelling to read. Maybe it was the trolling choices I made but I felt really horrible playing this lol. It was really interesting playing this!
Comments
Hey Max!
The format you chose for the text and choices was captivating- it really felt like I was literally unravelling the story every time I chose an option, and also subtly conveyed a sense foreboding that was well suited to the gothic horror narrative. Don’t be afraid to lean into this a bit more stylistically— for example, adding in some pauses of different lengths and fade ins/fade outs in different story beats would really heighten the drama in an exciting way.
There were a few moments when the setting changed that I felt a little lost- like I would forget when we were in Chicago vs. New York. I think some fade ins/fade outs or some other small visual cues would help convey these shifts.
I’m personally obsessed with The Gay Gothic, and I think your story was a fantastic take on queering Frankenstein. That one scene where Victor was talking with Beth and said “There’s something I have to tell you…” At first, I thought he was going to come out to her and then he ended up confessing about makin’ a dead guy! Really loved this game and the parallels you drew.
-Jude
hi max!
This was a wonderful exploration of engaging expressive choices. The prose was especially well-written in that it had a strong and consistent tone, and each element of the story continued to be relevant after its introduction. I would say that this is a story that is primarily about relationships, and delivers a meaningful commentary on queer relationships (and one's own relationship to queerness). However, many of the characters ended up seeming quite thin, with few traits that distinguish them from others. If you were to give this another pass, I'd recommend rewriting dialogue so that the character voices are more unique and less homogenous. This will make the ending with Henry much more impactful. That said, you accomplished a lot with this assignment and delivered a compelling retelling of a familiar story.
-jess
This was such an amazing story. Great job Max! I was elated to watch Victor's story unfold. I really appreciated how a lot of the choices I made were reflective of how Victor sees himself and his relationships with other characters; it felt as if I was shaping him in my own image based on the choices made. Seeing Victor's relationship with Henry develop gave me life, and I was glad I able to reach a happy-ish ending. I think I'll have to revisit it soon and see how different choices affect the narrative!
This is so deep. It somehow look back at my life as well. I was impressed with the length and the various choices it led me to progress through the story. I don't know much about the original Frankenstein story but the whole story was engaging, shocking and so sad at the same time which kept the story compelling to read. Maybe it was the trolling choices I made but I felt really horrible playing this lol. It was really interesting playing this!