I got a question, if you don't mind. When I think about the game from a narrative and tonal standpoint, I am wondering what the author's intentions are. When I am making world-building and character suggestions, I am not sure if they match the "goal" of the game's atmosphere.
For example, is Trixie supposed to be NTR'red from her husband, or does their love transcend carnal urges?
GOLDEN TOWER
#55: Having Trix automatically interrogate the Errand boy would make sense, if the spiked drink is that immediate and obvious.
#56: On the right side of the 2nd Floor by the orb, you can walk inside the wall.
#57: (Dealer): "...Only a mixture of the finest Beer fermented..." Beer shouldn't be capitalized, since it is a generic item, not a title.
#58: The effect of poison in the field doesn't work, Trixie won't lose health as she moves.
#59: (Dealer) "Welcome to the Liquor store!" Liquor by itself isn't a formal title, so it shouldn't be capitalized. I think it could be better written as "Welcome to my liquor store! Do you know our specials?
#60: (Dealer): "Ughh, I hate you!" Ughh -> Ugh
#61: (Dealer): "Hmmm...You're really good at this." -> "Hm...you're really good at this."
#62: (Dealer): "Like this...Clean" -> "Like this...clean"
#63: (Dealer): "in her mouth she uses her tongue" The overall sentence feels like a run-on. I recommend... "in her mouth, she uses her tongue"
#64: (Dealer): "Hmm...Let me see." -> "Hmm...let me see."
#65: (Dealer): "I...Ugg! That's none of your business." Ugg! -> ugh!
#66: (Dealer): "Ohh yes, I forgot about that." Ohh -> Oh
#67: Spike switches - Pushing a switch up doesn't make a sound.
#68: (Orc Bar, Diana) "hahaha This orc drink is the best!" -> "Hahaha, this orc drink is the best!"
#69: (Orc Bar, Diana) "I don't know...More conservative." More -> more
#70: (Orc Bar, William) The name box for William is mispelled as "Wiliam".
#71: (Orc Bar, William) What?! I can't lose! Not for them!" Contexually, English speakers use "Not to them!" for a competition. I recommend "What?! I can't lose, not to them!"
#72: (Battle Academy, Teacher): "Good...Very good!" -> very
#73: (Zoe, 5th floor): "Thank you...You" You -> you
#74: (Zoe, 5th floor): Zoe talked about letting her die to end the competition. I think there are issues with this: The first is that contextually, the competition is inherently dangerous, so it shouldn't end if some participants die. I think what was intended here is "you could have let me die to reduce the competition,". That should be closer to the mark.
#75: (Zoe, 5th floor): Up to this point, there were no indications that participants were trying to sabotage each other. Having some of the other characters do nasty things to Trixie would help set up this conversation. Examples: spiking the drinks during the booze contest, throwing a switch to reactivate a trap, running away to leave Trixie to monsters, ect.
#76: 5th Floor: When given the quest, it is called "Orc Mistery". I assume that "Mystery" is the intended word. Aside from that, it says to investigate the Black Bog - it probably should say "Golden Woods", instead.
#77: The promotion screen automatically finishes after several seconds. It is best to let the player manually end it, so that they can read the screen.
#78: "Ohh, I am so useless." Ohh -> Oh .
#79: "Ohh, before you get going, I want to repay you." Ohh -> Oh . I think it would be more natural to excise "Oh". This is because a great number of characters and dialogues keep starting their sentences like that - it would be better variety to not overuse the same structure. If used often, having it be a tic for a particular person might work.
/GOLDEN TOWER
Just one more report for this version of the game. Going over the skills, there are description issues.
r3.00 SKILLS
Shield Bash (H) "Attack using shield, causing lower damage, but greatly lowers Attack and may apply "Stun" for 2 turns." The problem with this one is "greatly lowers Attack", as it doesn't specify if it is the enemy or Trixie who gets the debuff. Probably the enemy considering the context?
Valkyrie Spirit (T): "Increases own Attack, Magic, and Defense, for 3 turns if you suffer any debuff in 6 turns." The purpose of this skill isn't clear. My first guess is that Trixie enjoys the standard Valkyrie Spirit buff upon casting, and if an enemy removes that bonus, your buff comes back on the spot?
Hero's Recovery (T): "Heals user by 30% of Max HP, with a bonus based on Magic, if an enemy enemy reduces your HP to 0 in 3 turns." The function isn't apparent. Probably an auto-revive ability? Also bit of an run-on sentence. I recommend replacing the comma in "Magic," into a period as "Magic."
Vengeful Strike (E): The text for "at the en" cuts off at the border. Seems to also affect the period at the end of the skill description.
Masochism Strike: "Becomes invulnerable for 1 turn. At the end, attacks with extra damage based on damage that would be taken." Two rewritten descriptions are below. The sticking point is whether the damage is split between the enemies who dealt it, or maybe all of them take the combined total?
"Become invulnerable for 1 turn. Received damage is combined and reflected on all enemies at end of turn."
"Become invulnerable for 1 turn. At the end, return damage to each enemy that dealt it."
/r3.00 SKILLS
