i get the following error when starting it:
wasm instantiation failed! CompileError: WebAssembly.instantiate(): Wasm code generation disallowed by embedder
Viewing post in Lola's Adventures - Chapter 1 - comments
I'm adding a downloading version so you can try it. Check it here.
If the problem persists, feel free to join our Discord and tell me about it, I'll try to help!
The version you linked on mega above works, thanks.
I'd not really call it a "chapter" and with the choices being only repeat rape scene animation (picture shake) 1, 2 or 3 (who are nearly identical) it's less of a VN than even the simplest VN I ever played/read before.
Even typing this post takes several times longer than reading the chapter (writing and drawing the chapter will have taken quite much longer i'm aware of that)...
The visuals are solid, i've seen way worse (by far), but i'm sure i've seen you do better. Her mouth looks strange in the later images, medieval looking backgrounds but characters are dressed in modern clothing, her art changes from introduction to scene to outro.
It has a generic porn plot, a protagonist that the reader doesn't really get introduced to, who has no ambitions nor dreams (which makes her kinda unrelatable), who thinks A) men look at her in a perverted way, it's a good idea to walk around nearly naked and B) going on an adventure, because she thinks of having some mythical charm or something that she wants to find out about and getting rid of, is the logical choice after getting raped in broad daylight on open street, by three strangers who even say at the end they fear getting caught.
I mean sure, not even walking around completely nude is a valid excuse for raping that person. But her being annoyed by people looking at her in a perverted way, which most likely means stripping her of that little cloth she wears in their minds?
She has breasts that defy any reason, way too big for her slim body, each one about as big as her head and wonders why people take a look? Yes, there are a few women who have that problem, but all of them, at least afaik, are all too aware of their breasts (mostly because of the back pain, but also because of catcalls, etc.). Who in their right mind would think about a mythical charm being the first and most reasonable explanation for it? It's just too much of a stretch, i mean maybe if there was some mention of magic being a thing in their world, maybe if the reader would have seen that her bosom isn't overly special, but not from the little the reader sees of that world.
Maybe even only 2-3 sentences could have changed my impression drastically, something about her being surprised about the change in behavior of men around her as she doesn't do anything another way (which would mean her style wasn't a problem before, hinting towards there was actually a sudden change instead of she may just have never noticed the looks before or she may just for the last few days wear that little clothing in public). Heck even adding a new and/or more in the sentence "For the past few days, I have felt that all men are looking at me in a [new]... [more] perverted way." could have done the trick to sell her conclusion later. And maybe something about her liking adventure stories would sell her point of going on an adventure to find out herself, instead of going to a professional and letting them do the adventure/research part, and at the same time something like that would make her more relatable, less of a puppet or an empty vessel.
Maybe in chapter 2 we'll see some actual story and character? I mean sure, it's a porn VN, but maybe at least enough to make it/her believable/relatable?
It's a very good review, I'm impressed.
You are right on all points. For this Visual Novel, I wanted to make a simple story to follow with a rather cheap style (because the budget was cheap too, I don't know why but I wanted it to be felt).
It was done with clearly very little means, but it will improve as it goes.
Chapter 2 will not be perfect yet, but from the 3rd it will be a little more "exciting".
Thank you for this review, it was a pleasure to read you!
When you say: "but i'm sure i've seen you do better." have you ever played one of our games? I'm curious.
I can assure you that we have other Visual Novels in progress that you will certainly like in the future. Subscribe, you will not regret it.
First I just had a hunch, as I know i've seen the disclaimer with that "press my button part" and the name Mushi sounds familiar... Than I took a look around on itch and found VNs (but nothing that I've played yet, if I remember correctly) and the presskit and I became certain that this first chapter lacks compared to the rest.
I'm not asking for perfect or exciting, believable and relatable would totally suffice for me. Give the reader just enough info on the world to make the characters actions and thoughts believable, mention some superstitions being or becoming true (or rumours of such a thing) for example... I just don't like to feel doubts in my escapism, I'd say.
I love to relate to characters (not always the protagonist as they are often blandly good or villainous, but there were really well written protagonists too), but at this point there is none to relate to, as the protagonist is more of an empty canvas at this point, we know about as little about her as we do about the 3 rapists, therefore her reasoning doesn't make any sense, even reading it several times doesn't help finding anything to relate with anyone so far. She's not really charming (and i'm not a fan of overly sized, borderline obscenely big, busts) hence I can't relate to the rapists. Apart from her having a name there is nothing to relate over to our protagonist either.
Don't get me wrong I don't mind a more shallow story from time to time, but these live from fleshed out characters (at least one to love or hate), while you can get away with rather shallow characters, if the story itself binds the reader.
But Lolas story just starts with that strange conclusion after getting raped, a conclusion that could be anything from her being really stupid, over a coping mechanism, to magic, charms and curses are just a normalcy in that world and you need to go on an adventure to solve the problem. If I hadn't seen your other stuff on itch, I don't think I'd give the VN the benefit of the doubt at this point, quite likely I'd not even taken the time to write a review.