All of them are written so nicely.
Looking forward to more.
Either Ezri's scene 3 or 4, there is a dialogue box where she is the speaker but the dialogue itself certainly is the MC speaking to Ezri.
And I think I stumbled across a few minor spelling errors, nothing that stands out and breaks immersion, at a later date I'll just have to replay and note them.
okay just testing the 1/12/2022 demo
I'll only add stuff I haven't yet seen in other comments.
in the shopping mall any text between chair and sale sign isn't readable because there's not enough contrast. Easiest fix would be some kind of border around the letters.
the font in the phone is hardly readable because it's really tiny.
when encountering a goddess, using the profile button there are 4 lines, but figuring out what each of them means is way less than intuitive, an indicator would be nice.
without interacting with any goddess there is nothing to do, meaning if you get to any location where there is no goddess you wasted 1/3 of a day just going there AND have to navigate through the phone to move elsewhere. I think it would be better to additionally bind the map to a key. or maybe add some interactive element to each location? Even if it's only something like click onto the sale sign and the shop menu opens or some way of playing the match-3-minigame in the gaming lounge, it'll give the locations some purpose besides being able to maybe encounter a goddess.
the match-3-minigame when on a date doesn't always recognize completing several rows/columns at once, sometimes that leads to one of the matches getting lost by falling gems. T shaped matches should be recognized, before clearing a match the minigame should look for other matches that occured.
It seems out of place too because there is no context, making it part of the date instead of the date itself would be nice.
sometimes time jumps from evening to morning on the same day when visiting a location you where in the morning.
knowing how much the next stat increase will cost, without having the funds already, would be nice.
Seriously I expected more.
From what I can tell the player's interactions are irrelevant, and apart from self-loathing nothing can be seen. There is no insight to be gained (especially not into oneself) nor fun to be had, no story that's being told either, it's not even really informative, hence it is not a game (not even an educative one).
I know some creativity went into creating it and I know programming takes time, but I think You could do better. Therefore it does disappoint me and disappointment is an emotion, hence it stirs an emotion and has to be considered a work of art, maybe something like an interactive painting or a virtual statue.
Of course it is possible to start some interpretation on how the artist wanted to express something through it but tbh I believe if the artist doesn't clearly state what they meant, such an interpretation is just bullshitting. Especially if the work of art did get the artist paid and could very well just have been a means to acquire funds (something realistic artists do regularly, after all only the real idealists starve themselves for the arts). And even though bullshitting can be a decent intellectual exercise for the argumentation muscles, in the end it is for naught.
bugs in the new version
- the pronoun door Xe seems to be surrounded by an invisible wall, same for the door no pronoun
in that barrier there is a tiny crack left of the door right by the wall (may have to do with the clipping issue going through (opening?) doors in quick succession), seems like it's one way only though; the door itself works normal but the wall keeps you from further exploration
to reproduce start the game go through the trans room to the staircase (you may walk around on the upper levels reading stuff in the other rooms), then jump down the staircase, try the doors
Thanks for putting the clarification into the void room.
I think there are wiki lists of similar games, having the game(s) on these might help more than writing to dozens, hundreds or more national or even smaller organisations.
But i think looking at the biggest organizations for the regions you have the game translated for might be a good thing, often smaller organisations use their information too.
void has no explanationary text. I mean yes, it's fitting, but i have no idea what exactly void in this topic would mean, is it just representing agender?
Other than that see my review:
"Looking a bit like a piece of a sterile modern art exhibition. With the (more or less) all white floors, walls and ceiling I found it a bit hard to navigate.
Other than that I like it.
It gives a nice overview over gender and connections between terms often seen in discussions and with about 20 minutes to discover every room it's not too long for an informational walk. Walking speed could be slightly faster, but then thinking about the information in the room one just left might come too short,"
I could get over 80 quests from opne of the guilds each time they post new quests.
But I don't want assignment quests and the notice board gets to full if I just let them post the full amount. It would be nice to have the option to have them post only the Quests I'm interested...
Let's say i want only 10 quests from them at a time on the notice board, the game could get rid of any filtered quest (for example assignment quests see bug report) and still generate more quests until the 10 quests are filled, up to the 80+ quests it would at max generate that time.
Apart from that it would be interesting to have them post additional quests after they got fulfilled up to the 80+ that would get generated.
And PLEASE, when the player unlocks another quest from that guild, only add it to the quest generation, if the player hasn't set limits, else just add it to the maximum.
Did 1 assignment quest that said workduration 4 days, but even after 20 days the slave isn't back (i'm not keen on trying another one).
Would be nice to know that before, if it's a common thing.
Should be v0.4.1 if i'm right.
EDIT: Just to make sure, yes i know there are slave request quests, but i didn't accept any of these ever (they bring too little profit)
First I just had a hunch, as I know i've seen the disclaimer with that "press my button part" and the name Mushi sounds familiar... Than I took a look around on itch and found VNs (but nothing that I've played yet, if I remember correctly) and the presskit and I became certain that this first chapter lacks compared to the rest.
I'm not asking for perfect or exciting, believable and relatable would totally suffice for me. Give the reader just enough info on the world to make the characters actions and thoughts believable, mention some superstitions being or becoming true (or rumours of such a thing) for example... I just don't like to feel doubts in my escapism, I'd say.
I love to relate to characters (not always the protagonist as they are often blandly good or villainous, but there were really well written protagonists too), but at this point there is none to relate to, as the protagonist is more of an empty canvas at this point, we know about as little about her as we do about the 3 rapists, therefore her reasoning doesn't make any sense, even reading it several times doesn't help finding anything to relate with anyone so far. She's not really charming (and i'm not a fan of overly sized, borderline obscenely big, busts) hence I can't relate to the rapists. Apart from her having a name there is nothing to relate over to our protagonist either.
Don't get me wrong I don't mind a more shallow story from time to time, but these live from fleshed out characters (at least one to love or hate), while you can get away with rather shallow characters, if the story itself binds the reader.
But Lolas story just starts with that strange conclusion after getting raped, a conclusion that could be anything from her being really stupid, over a coping mechanism, to magic, charms and curses are just a normalcy in that world and you need to go on an adventure to solve the problem. If I hadn't seen your other stuff on itch, I don't think I'd give the VN the benefit of the doubt at this point, quite likely I'd not even taken the time to write a review.
Yes and no... I want to feel that way, but the story makes it harder... afaik right now after chapter 1 and the introduction of the story above, there is some supernatural near mindcontrol stuff happening, causing them to act that way, which makes it harder for me to hate them... After all they wouldn't have acted fully of their own free will...
The version you linked on mega above works, thanks.
I'd not really call it a "chapter" and with the choices being only repeat rape scene animation (picture shake) 1, 2 or 3 (who are nearly identical) it's less of a VN than even the simplest VN I ever played/read before.
Even typing this post takes several times longer than reading the chapter (writing and drawing the chapter will have taken quite much longer i'm aware of that)...
The visuals are solid, i've seen way worse (by far), but i'm sure i've seen you do better. Her mouth looks strange in the later images, medieval looking backgrounds but characters are dressed in modern clothing, her art changes from introduction to scene to outro.
It has a generic porn plot, a protagonist that the reader doesn't really get introduced to, who has no ambitions nor dreams (which makes her kinda unrelatable), who thinks A) men look at her in a perverted way, it's a good idea to walk around nearly naked and B) going on an adventure, because she thinks of having some mythical charm or something that she wants to find out about and getting rid of, is the logical choice after getting raped in broad daylight on open street, by three strangers who even say at the end they fear getting caught.
I mean sure, not even walking around completely nude is a valid excuse for raping that person. But her being annoyed by people looking at her in a perverted way, which most likely means stripping her of that little cloth she wears in their minds?
She has breasts that defy any reason, way too big for her slim body, each one about as big as her head and wonders why people take a look? Yes, there are a few women who have that problem, but all of them, at least afaik, are all too aware of their breasts (mostly because of the back pain, but also because of catcalls, etc.). Who in their right mind would think about a mythical charm being the first and most reasonable explanation for it? It's just too much of a stretch, i mean maybe if there was some mention of magic being a thing in their world, maybe if the reader would have seen that her bosom isn't overly special, but not from the little the reader sees of that world.
Maybe even only 2-3 sentences could have changed my impression drastically, something about her being surprised about the change in behavior of men around her as she doesn't do anything another way (which would mean her style wasn't a problem before, hinting towards there was actually a sudden change instead of she may just have never noticed the looks before or she may just for the last few days wear that little clothing in public). Heck even adding a new and/or more in the sentence "For the past few days, I have felt that all men are looking at me in a [new]... [more] perverted way." could have done the trick to sell her conclusion later. And maybe something about her liking adventure stories would sell her point of going on an adventure to find out herself, instead of going to a professional and letting them do the adventure/research part, and at the same time something like that would make her more relatable, less of a puppet or an empty vessel.
Maybe in chapter 2 we'll see some actual story and character? I mean sure, it's a porn VN, but maybe at least enough to make it/her believable/relatable?
Hi
First I like the VN mostly, there are only a few minor thing up to the point i'm at now.
SPOILER
Mostly there are a few slight issues with the german test:
The first one, even if you don't answer A every time Maddie tells you every answer would be correct and asks why it is always A. Feels off if you didn't answer A every time. To give the player the option to answer wrong but not doing anything with it, takes away from the decisions matter illusion of the VN.
Second, first and second question are not as easy as it looks, the Berlin Wall fell only more or less in the night from 9th to 10th of november 1989 (the borders were opened for freely travel), but the contract reuniting both countries was signed on 3rd of october 1990. Therefore technically the border and with that the Wall fell not until then. And tearing down the wall took until 30th of november 1990 afterwards. Asking for a specific event like when the DDR opened their borders for everyone to cross freely (1989) or when the reuniting contract was signed (1990) would be better.
And as there is no indication when the game takes place (only that it's after 1991, potentially more around mid to late 90s or later), the capital could very well be Bonn still in it, as the capital only changed to Berlin in 1999 (after changing it was finally decided in 1994), and technically it seems it took until 2006 to actually get Berlin as the Capital into the constitution, and parts of the government still are in Bonn. Changing the option for answering Bonn to idk Frankfurt or Munich or some other widely known city would be the best fix (imo), else you could add some date on the sheet which could be an easier fix.
Third, the translations are a bit off, concerning question 5 "I'm going to see you tomorrow!" is "Ich werde dich morgen sehen!" (if translated literally) but more like "Wir werden uns morgen treffen!" (= "We're going to meet tomorrow") "Wir treffen uns morgen" or "Wir sehen uns morgen!" (= "We see eachother tomorrow"), as you normally don't really mean only you will see the other person, like in only with your eyes (i mean sure it could be something a stalker means with that), but actually meeting them. And the answer to question 4 misses the "etwas" (= a bit) part of the sentence, but that's just nitpicking and not really anything anyone would notice if there wouldn't be anything else to feel off.
Other than that not having to think about decisions just having to pick the first one to get the best results every time, takes away from the illusion of decisions that matter too.
clay turning to ceramic when burned? never heard of something like this...
joke aside: it's more or less normal behavior as that is more or less exactly how you make ceramic stuff: you burn clay in fire over hours (and sleeping is a 6 hours fast forward), though if you don't do it right normally it shatters when you take it out.
on the homepage it says: "If you do not wish to register a website/forum account, you can also get the game through the Humble Widget, on the Humble Store or on itch.io"
I bought it here on itch.io but the first thing it wants from me when starting is that i login somewhere, not even mentioning where.
I paid over 20% extra for not having to create yet another account!
btw. the download is only the installer for the installer? it seems when using the itch.io app
I use firefox with quite some plugins (just to name a few: noscript, facebook container, blur, disconnect, cookie autodelete, duckduckgo privacy essentials). I know some sites require offsite scripts which i block (especially everything i can link to google or facebook) what may make some sites quite unusable (i don't miss them though), others use cookies which get deleted the second i leave the domain (or not even be created when it gets identified as tracking cookie) and there are other potential problems.
Trying to play, but only get fatal errors (but i get these for all in browser games nowadays). Would be nice to have the opportunity to download the file and run it local.
Perhaps another browser could work, but i don't want the work to make yet another browser optimated for privacy and running a not for privacy optimated browser is not my thing.
Until release My Time At Portia worked just fine, never were there any game crashing bugs. But with release they changed the minimum pc specs and made it impossible to play with older graphics cards. All the support has to say is "just buy a new one, we won't look into the issue until then". I contacted pathea and they didn't even answer.
I'm with this game since the Demo, i backed it on Kickstarter, i tested it since then and reported all the few bugs i encountered. And now i'm not able to play the finished game. For Patheas sake do i need a non-limited steam account for a review there.
Correct the spelling error and make the font in the title menu stand out a bit more (perhaps a lighter shade of grey instead of the near black on black background) and i'd give you a B-, add about 10 sentences to why they are friends (it seems as if one gets to know the ones making wishes and their motivations better than undine and momo) and you'll nearing B and then it becomes harder to get a better rating as in my opnion A+ means no room for improvement anymore.
Yes, the art is really good (i don't like the overly use of superlatives that's why i don't say awesome, especially when there is room for improvement) but i didn't get that the curly things around jennies head is actually hair (until Momo mentioned it not being curly anymore), i thought maybe it's some ghostly essence or tentacles or smoke or something, but it's an entity with near unlimited power, why not. And i'm not quite sure why it seemed to me that the fairy's sprite did not fit the overall style but it's the only one i really did not like.
First of all, it's short, really short, too short, the characters have potential and are drawn nicely (backgrounds are quite nice too), but most remain shallow, the only character one gets to know a bit more is Jennie, the Wishmaster, but Undine and Momo have too less dialogue to get to know the friend and the witch. That combined with at least one spelling error (ar instead of are) and a quite hard to see title menu, makes it in my opinion a C+ (hopefully translating the 3+ from our school system [1 best possible, 4 enough to pass, 6 worst possible] correctly) only, it's all in all over average but sadly leaves way too much potential open.
Critic points: too short for character depth, at least one (i noticed in the first playthrough) minor spelling error, title menu hardly readable
Overall the characters are well drawn (there are a few pictures that are way behind the rest though, mostly while the demons introduces themself and the showdown duel) and voiced (four mp3 files seem to be missing though), the characters and texts are well written (but I would have prefered to have at least some choices, even if they would have affected only little of the story, even if it would have affected only a few sentences and reactions). Without any choices and with only one possible ending i can't say it's a game, but it's an entertaining visual novel for sure.
critic points: There were a few errors (something about missing mp3 files), some pictures are way behind the overall quality and no choices at all (at least one or two even when only affecting a few reactions would have been nice or to mention it beforehand).
now i know what was wrong, the slider for the reactor output goes from right to left instead of the normal (and used for example for the weapons) left to right, the tutorial does not mention it when you do it wrong, numbers (at least for me) are lowest left and highest right, another indicator, that right seems to be the highest setting.
but with the now right settings one is faster, is able to rotate better and the jumps big enough to not find the station again, but that doesn't mean much as it is hard enough from just a few kilometres away, perhaps a pulsating red or green light on top and bottom would help with the latter.
6 seconds are fine, but i don't seem to get that fast about half minute (at about 100fps) is as fast as it gets for me, for such a small ship, could even be faster, but we don't want players to throw up, aren't we?
then there's only the issue with momentum and perhaps putting some use to the things one can get: the pistol doesn't work, the parts just need room but aren't needed, there is nothing damaging anything for getting fixed with the tape and oxygen isn't needed either. and it needs collissions for the ship, as i got too comfortable just standing up from the chair to loot and then sitting down again to fly away.
until now i see much potential but much to do, too.
sadly that is way too low, turning around is nearly impossible. but for a spacecraft it's really slow too, i estimate a bit faster than a car (EDIT: no, a bit faster than you walk), with warp jumps of a few hundred metres before the engine needs recharging, wouldn't mind if it wouldn't take minutes, but seconds to recharge. it's a bit like you expect an airplane but get a hot air balloon.
Sure rotating shouldn't be as fast as a person but for a such small ship taking hours (or at least about 15 minutes) to turn is just not enjoyable. it shouldn't be that much slower to rotate it around aother axis, at least if the one who built that ship didn't totally messed up.
Okay that rotating problem seems to be only in tutorial and storymode, in sandbox it's fine. Or at least better as you don't need to move your mouse a metre to move the crosshair/circle about a centimetre.
oh, and you shouldn't stop moving just because you aren't accelerating, there is nothing (or at least not noticable much) stopping you in space.
But it has quite some potential.
