Preface: You played my submission, so you know exactly why I was very very intrigued and then disproportionately disappointed.
Play: It's a visual novel, so most of the commentary will be in the narrative section. I will say that the pictures threw me off- it's so rare that a Twine game has pictures that the first time I had to click on one to progress it stumped me for longer than it should have lol. But hey, pictures!
Aesthetic: I tried to play this a while ago, and it was doing some weird visual stuff that made me have to zoom out real far and then squint to properly play the game. Luckily, it seems to have been fixed! That, or my browser was just misbehaving... The art is good. It seems like all the shading was done with black, though- remember, the multiply layer is your friend! Sunny's hair looks like noodles, it makes me uncomfortable. I love how you played with color in the text itself! Twine is capable of such cool stuff that you never see done, at least not in jams, so it's nice to see someone poking around in the documentation. The dream sequence especially goes ham on the fun stuff!
Sound: There is no sound. (I ended up listening to the I Disagree album for this one... tonal dissonance much? lolol)
Narrative: The writing is a little awkward at points. Mostly it's the sentence structure that's lacking, but there's a few proper errors as well. I recommend going back and applying another layer or two of polish, really get in there and fine-tune it. In addition, there were some perplexing decisions- it's cliche advice, but instead of telling us what Belle tried to say, show us that she's doing her best but can't word it write by writing out the dialogue! It'll feel more natural, more like a story than a summary, and help the characters develop even better. Technical complaint aside, the content is incredible. I like how you leaned into the dog-girl trope when writing Sunny, it's a very good source of comedy. The story itself is incredibly heartfelt, I can tell you tapped into a lot of genuine emotions for the heavy parts. It's very long! This is an impressive amount of content for a jam game, although I suppose you did have the advantage of having the writing be, like, 90% of the content lol.
Horny: Horny with heart.
Kink: Half-furries get a half-complaint, as is policy.
Stealth: High points because you might not expect explicit content going in if you didn't bother to read the page, but also because you might forget (as I did) that this is an adult game and not just a really good lgbt twine story.
Harmony and Novelty: There's pictures! You use the functionality of twine very well, and you stretch its visual capabilities further than most people want to bother with. I especially like the use of links that reveal more of the current passage instead of just links that bring you to the next passage. They're really useful for pacing, and criminally underutilized.
Final Thoughts: that one goddamn link. many bonus points that are immediately taken away. diabolical
Real Final Thoughts: Bravo, you showed the rest of us who's boss in terms of writing. I would definitely call this one of the best games to come out of this jam, it's sad people don't seem to be paying attention to it. Maybe a title on the thumbnail or a little more detail in the description would bring more eyes in?
Final Final Thoughts: twitter dot com