"Richard
You heard my terms Diane."
Even though I gave Diane a custom name, the default one pops up in this bit of dialogue.
Also, at times you mix past and present tense in the same sentence -sometimes it does not mesh, and subsequently feels wrong.
And -for instance- the use of "breath" (a noun) as a verb (should be "breathe").
Or "did noticed" ("did" makes it past tense, so "noticed" after "did" should be "notice" instead).
"Woman" (singular) sometimes gets replaced by "women" (plural), when only one woman is being referred to.
No biggies in my book, perhaps but something to consider for a more polished finish when a chapter is close to being 100% complete?
If you wish -and are willing to forward me the dialogue as text format files- I could make some suggestions. Ultimately, your game, your rules -so whatever you decide is alright by me.
Still really like Diane; sweet character and you actually make me worry for her at times. Games like this -in its current form at least- are sorely needed amidst the mindless f*ckfests that swamp the net. The nudity is nice -bloody well done, in fact- but it serves the story and the characters; not the other way around. So, thanks!