I enjoy the long text! You are absolutely right on all the levels! (However, I have to learn more about Light2D nodes and I have no idea what a Fantasy Console is :D)
About Wildcards, I thought you were being even more meta by not listing any! It followed the whole theme of: "this is not a game so there is nothing, no theme, not even a wildcard, and if you as a player think so, thats not on us".