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I'd be curious to know more on the specifics if anything came to mind.

From a back end planning sort of thing, and it'll be streamlined a little better come edits, but from days 11 to 20ish constitutes Act 2. Which the first half is about dealing with Dave primarily and his own trauma where he fits into the mystery as a whole. On top of that, coming to terms with how that has impacted his relationships with his friends.

Part of the failing on my end is that I've perhaps tried to pace it a little too close to how things would play out IRL as opposed to a work of fiction? If everything was a constant go-state then it'd be closer to a TV serial and the writing would need to shift towards episodes as opposed to a novel.

If I'm failing, I'd love to know where specifically I can be doing better outside of just "make stuff happen" because managing the timeline and naturally developing relationships (to me at least) don't just automatically happen in daily updates towards becoming an item.

Shadaloo3 years ago(+1)

You know....I hadn’t really thought of it like that. Maybe it’s just a personal misunderstanding on my end, but it does seem a lot more realistic now that I’m thinking about it. Even though I’m personally pretty much over my trauma stuff, I can remember how I acted back then....very reclusive, frazzled, and confused. With the different relationships he has with everyone, it really makes sense that some friends take more time to warm up to than others (and with these characters, hoo boy). And I agree with you on the fact that how it is now is very novel-like instead of like a TV show. I think the problem I was having was that sometimes some route specific dialogues seemed similar to other routes, but then again, the lines are quite literally coming from one mind (Dave’s), so having variety in his own dialogue isn’t realistic....or else it wouldn’t be Dave. Now that I’ve actually taken some time to lay everything, I feel kinda dumb for not doing that before. :( Thanks for the clarification!🐊

Grizz3 years ago(+1)

Don't feel dumb! It's questions like this that help keep my writing quality in check.

Some of the dialogue is a little same-y, so I'll give you that much as far as you're not imagining things. Granted, I think the prevalence of other VNs having wildly different narratives base on whose route you pick might be playing part in expectations being what they are.

Shadaloo3 years ago

Yeah it’s a good change of pace....a lot of VNs seem kinda cartoonish and peaches and cream tone while this has a more realistic approach...thanks and keep up the good work!🐊

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