Thanks for your time can definitely work with that!
It's also great that you devide the sections keeping the dialogue box in mind, kudos for that.
Forgot to link you the DOC files of the previous writer for you to draw inspiration from https://docs.google.com/document/d/1J50A6Sd67X82CZlJW2Qv92KVC58mnZ9x2-MAhwEeZcs/...
Again your work you've done now is more than enough and appreciated. If anything had to be added it would perhaps be a bit more fleshing out on the growth below her waist, and maybe the very last part would benefit from descriping how the magic just needs to push her one more time for extraordinary results.