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I wish I could say that I went through something similar to make sense that I felt so much. I had two boyfriends in my life, the first we had a really friendly breakup and the second I am still dating for about 5 years, my oldest friend is my neighbor so we still have contact even though much less when we were children (my fault for basically being a socially disabled person haha). So I really found myself thinking "why did it hurt me so much? Am I missing something? I went through something like this and didn't notice?" I hope it's just my good side wanting a happy ending for everyone. Because something that made me cry (a person who basically just shed tears because of dead people) has to have a reason.

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I wish you would NEVER went through something like that, tbh noone should.

Unfortunately life is tough and things like that just happens, people are different and I know that both of us weren't pure and perfect, he was a dick and I was (actually I still am) selfish bastard. 

The circumstances that I found true about myself is just sad and a little humiliating, I just played a game, furry game, nothing more... better late than never I guess.

On the other hand I have never realy loved anyone yet. So I can't imagine how this must hurt, I simply hope it is't worse that losing your life best friend whom you knew your whole life.

"Sometimes life is a bitch and you keep living" quot from my "favourite" show. Be strong my friend! You are not alone.