I wish you would NEVER went through something like that, tbh noone should.
Unfortunately life is tough and things like that just happens, people are different and I know that both of us weren't pure and perfect, he was a dick and I was (actually I still am) selfish bastard.
The circumstances that I found true about myself is just sad and a little humiliating, I just played a game, furry game, nothing more... better late than never I guess.
On the other hand I have never realy loved anyone yet. So I can't imagine how this must hurt, I simply hope it is't worse that losing your life best friend whom you knew your whole life.
"Sometimes life is a bitch and you keep living" quot from my "favourite" show. Be strong my friend! You are not alone.