Okay so, Upon reading "Splif's" comment, I decided to give this game a go and give you some advice that might actually help if you wish to continue going forward...
Firstly, something I'd try to get around to is re going through the text's that the characters speak again and slowly, Sadly there was quite a few times that I needed to figure out what they meant to say, I'll give a few examples.
"She is typing something while you wait her"
"She is typing up something while you wait for her to finish"
Or
"____ _____ ? My name is Jane Strife, I hope we get it over quickly"
"____ _____ ? My name is Jane Strife, I hope we get this over quickly"
Final one I promise
"I think some girls think what I stalk them to their houses"
"I think some girls think that I stalk them to their houses"
However, I believe it might be better written like so:
"I think some girls have the misconception that I stalk them to their houses"
I think you get the point.
There are a few points that I'd like to go over but I don't know the text limit I'm afraid.
I don't mean to go on either, I used to ask friends for advice when I used to write stories in my spare time, So I hope I could be at least a little helpful :)