So I wrote my last review in a bit of a hurry and I'd like to take some time to reply and clarify a few things.
I kind of got the impression that it was a more experimental game, but thanks for confirming that. I think a lot of the ideas were interesting and have potential, they just didn't quite work out or didn't quite work together.
I think adding unpredictability can work- arguably, it's one of the things that make games work to begin with. It can be difficult to do, though, without feeling unfair to the player. It feels unfair here because it's effectively a coin flip whether you continue or get sent back to the beginning- there's no means to recover and no interesting alternate path (at least in most cases- the ending might be randomized when you get there?). I think more choices would help, but more importantly, more complex use of randomization to send players down different paths that all ultimately lead to an ending.
Going back to a previous save is a crutch, though one that I think would be acceptable for an experimental jam game if it were a bit better implemented. I'll admit I was thrown a bit by the interface here; Ren'Py usually has a prominent action bar which wasn't showing, and I was worried hitting ESC to open the menu would break the game (this is pretty common in SBIG games).
A text/audio only game can work, but the narrative just isn't engaging enough to carry it, at least for me. I think that particular point is going to be the most subjective one- for some people it will fall on the other side of the line (and some no doubt will find it even less interesting). I don't think a game without graphics is inherently bad, but I do think it's inherently risky, since there's so much riding on the narrative (and, to a lesser but still significant degree, the voice acting).
I'd argue that the premise and tone of the story don't really fit with the minimalist visual style, but again, that's something that's going to be highly subjective.
The length of the game and its repetitive nature really work against it here; if it doesn't quite hit the mark for the player it quickly becomes a drag rather than ending on a relatively high note. I think in the end this is probably my biggest point of contention; as an experiment it just runs too long. This is also where I can give feedback that's actually actionable: keep highly experimental games short. This means less work for you the dev as well on a concept that might not work out.
On that note there's probably a bit of an audience expectation thing going on. This might actually be considered short for a visual novel, but it's quite long for an SBIG Jam game.