I like the two incomplete views of the world, that's a good mechanic. I think it is too hard to dodge the enemies - they move quite fast, and the player needs to dodge round them by quite small margins. To me that difficulty detracted from the puzzle elements, which were cool.
My suggestion would be that you do some extra work on this after the jam - add sound effects, try and juice up the player death, add some music. That alone will really help this game.