Interesting. I think you have some very strong characterization and the art is quite pleasant, my main qualms lie in how you handle choice. It's very clear that you want the story to go a certain way, which is fine, but you introducing choice at all throws that of. As a result you get 2/3rds of the game where you're essentially reading a novel... without any of the benefits of a visual novel. Either give meaningful choices or don't make me choose. That's a minor gripe however, overall a very strong start.